#(they took a lot of time and I'm super proud of them)
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Actually if I were to rank it, the top four fandoms I've had the biggest impact on would probably be MMX, QSMP, Steven Universe, and then Transformers in that order.
#i talk#no escape from gay robot hell#primordial robot hell#crap I dont even remember my SU tag#I remember my watch tag but I dont think that was it#ah well#Anyways. MMX I dominated Ao3 (last I checked 90% of my fics are still top of the fandom kudos ranking)#(not even sorting by ship just sorting by tag. and ngl I'm still very proud about that)#QSMP I did the timestamp archive and clips as RA#For SU I ran GHQ for 7 frickin years. which is still insane to think about#I remember when I went to the SU art show Grace instantly clocked who I was#which was mortifying and flattering at the same time#and then for TF I was the only person who took notes on Mae's super in-depth post-Cyberverse interview#It's really cool but also crazy to think about how much work I've done for all these fandoms#Like. I talk about GHQ and RA when talking to employers and potential employers#because of how much time and effort went into that#I dunno just thinking a lot about the past today#I still wanna finish that MMX fic someday I still love my MMX readers#and I love seeing how many people still read them#:')#it's an old community and small at the time but new waves of people come and go#it's cool seeing who passes by
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Muscle memory
(Spade Pirate Sabo AU Masterpost)
Other title I considered: Blunt force trauma💥 (When you dine and dash from the wrong restaurant)
Some notes for this time around!! I played around a lot more this time with poses and zooming in and out and I'm honestly super proud of how it turned out :DDD Coloring took a long while so it might not be feasible to continue doing this amount of rendering for every comic I do,,, but we'll see, I'll continue to experiment with it I guess
I tried my best this time around to use the color blue sparingly to show Tage's shift in personality from generally warm and amicable to just cold and ruthless when fighting. You can see that blue thaw out a little with the victory pose he does and when Ace checks if he's injured. Also the colors for Ace's little reminiscing panel are borrowed from the 1015 luffy/roger dream segment because I always think of it when I think about the three of them as kids...... the colors of the sunrise,,,
I also for some reason had Such A Clear Image of how I wanted the beat up marines to look. One of those very nice moments when what you envision lines up well with what you end up drawing haha
I think I forgot to draw sabo's ponytail more often than I forgot to draw his neck scars this time,,,
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My Favorite Clangen Duos!!!
(for some reasont the quality is normal/best when you click open in new tab?? crying how do I fix that)
Inspired by the "give me 6 clangen cats to draw" but I wanted to do my favorite duos and the ability to choose them :33 This took me about 4 hours? Over the course of a week.
Mossleaf (left) and Sunmane (right) (Top Left) of @whispering-clan! I LOVE WLW COUPLES and I LOVE Sunmanes design. Can't see her eyes? Peak character design. They're just so cute to me and I love their kits. Domestic happiness. I reallyyy wanna draw Peakkit, but I might hold that off until we know more about his personality.
Cedarheart (left) and Pansybloom (right) (Top right) of @splinterclan! I actually wanted to do Moorsnow and Whorlstar because ARRGHHH I love them so much its diabolical. Maybe another time? Anyway, Cedarheart and Pansybloom are sibling goals. In the picture, the timeframe is before either of their kits were born. (Queen Bess is seen aswell) Im also really proud of Cedar's expression. Sorry yap sesh over lols.
Mistswirl (left) and Hopebeam (right) (Bottom Left) of @glitterclan! I was rooting for these two SO hard bro omg. I think their dynamic and interactions are so silly. "me and the girl i bagged by having 0 rizz" basically and I'm all here for it.
Hawkcry (left) and Kestrelfrost (right) (Bottom Right) of @pumpkinclan-adventures! THESE TWO MAKE ME CRY UGH. I imagine they have a mother daughter relationship and I LIVE for those. Kestrelfrost is such a sweetheart omggg. Also, Hawkcry's guilt over Kestrel's accident but Kestrelfrost not blaming her makes me
Anyway! I had a lot of fun doing this! :3 hope you all enjoy it I am SO SO super proud of this. It lowkey helped me out of burnout lols.
#clangen#warrior cats#warriors clangen#whisperingclan#sunmane#mossleaf#splinterclan#cedarheart#pansybloom#bess#glitterclan#mistswirl#hopebeam#pumpkinclan#kestrelfrost#hawkcry
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Aeolus character design process!
(disclaimer: my writing sucks and I'm not good at explaining things so if it gets a bit weird just know I'm trying my best)
a lot of people have been saying very nice things about my character design for Aeolus in EPIC, and that makes me really happy! So I decided to break it down to show you guys my full process in designing them! :D
When I first listened to the snippet of Keep Your Friends Close I was very excited that this old bearded god man was going to be interpreted by a girl, so the first concept I had was to maximize this contrast by also making my Aeolus appear as a child. Aside from the contrast thing, it would also tie in with their playful personality. Here are some of the sketches I did at the time (around 2022):
Since the beginning I always had the clown aesthetic in mind. Not sure why, just thought it matched the cute playfulness of the character. It was fun combining wind/cloud stuff with the clown aesthetic, like the cloud around the neck and wrists, which was supposed to resemble those ruff thingies that clowns usually wear.
I experimented with a lot of elements, like the headband and the cropped shirt, but I decided to remove and recicle them in other EPIC characters (Odysseus and Circe). Their design was also more feminine, and since I was aiming for a more androgynous look this would be changed later.
I remember around this time I saw a video of Jay where he said he envisioned Aeolus having a more calm nature aesthetic, so I decided to change my design to better match what he had in mind. I made the hair wavier, with clean and smooth lines, made sure that Aeolus would act less clown-like, rarely stand up and never abandon the cloud. These doodles better resemble the current design:
it was also around this time that I designed the island in the sky. My biggest inspiration was New Super Mario Bros. WII world 7, mainly because of the chill vibes and cute fluffy clouds. So I took that and threw the combined aesthetic of a child's playroom and ancient Greece temple on top of it and it was done.
Right now here's the full body reference of them:
I'm very proud of it, I think it matches the themes and feelings I had in mind while also translating their personality quite well. The color palette is a simple blue/yellow/red, but the simplicity helps to complement the childish appearance. Their outfit is comfy, cute, and something you'd like to sleep in. The round shapes makes them adorable. Overall a cute little gremlin that is also a very powerful god.
#digital art#art#epic the musical#greek myths#epic: the musical#character design#epic the ocean saga#epic the musical fanart#the oddyssey#the ocean saga#keep your friends close
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Fight or Flight Mini Masterlist
Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab
Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut
Pairing: Mingi X Reader
Words: 57,852 (Yes, you read that right, almost 57.9k words)
Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI
Warnings and links found below the cut
Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.
P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.
A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~
Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?
P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!
→ Part One
→ Part Two
→ Part Three
→ Part Four
→ Part Five
→ Part Six {M}
#thrill of the hunt#cultofdionysusnet#mfu-net#yandere mingi#yandere ateez#yandere kpop#mingi scenario#mingi smut#mingi x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez smut#ateez x reader#mingi imagines#ateez imagines#atz x reader#ateez au#kpop au#kpop smut#kpop scenarios#fantasy au#fae au#chubby reader#tall reader#collabs
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hii i love your writing! can you please do a kenan yildiz x reader where he gets injured during a game and the reader is at the game watching him and he wants her to come to the hospital with him. she’s like all super worried about him and wants to take care of him. THANK YOU🫶
A/N: This is the last one for today
INJURED AND IN LOVE - KENAN YILDIZ
When Kenan get injured during a game, he requires the best care possible, you
Kenan Yildiz x fem! reader
︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
The stadium was packed, the atmosphere electric as fans cheered for their favorite team. I sat among them, my heart pounding with excitement and nerves.
Kenan was on the field, playing his heart out as usual, and I couldn't help but feel proud of him. Every time he touched the ball, my heart swelled with admiration.
The game was intense, with both teams giving their all. It was halfway through the second half when everything changed.
Kenan was sprinting down the field, trying to intercept a pass, when he collided with an opponent. The crowd gasped as he fell to the ground, clutching his leg in pain.
"No, no, no," I whispered, my heart racing. "Kenan, please be okay."
Medical staff rushed onto the field, and I stood up, straining to see what was happening. The minutes felt like hours as they tended to him.
Eventually, they brought out a stretcher, and my stomach dropped. Kenan was being taken off the pitch, his face contorted in pain.
I quickly made my way to the sidelines, desperate to see him. When I reached the tunnel, I spotted him being carried toward the ambulance.
"Kenan!" I called out, my voice breaking with worry.
He looked up, his eyes meeting mine. Despite the pain, he managed a small, reassuring smile. "I'm okay, Y/N," he said, though I could see the strain in his eyes. "I'll be fine."
I hurried to his side, taking his hand in mine. "I'm coming with you," I said firmly, leaving no room for argument.
The paramedics helped him into the ambulance, and I climbed in after him, holding his hand tightly. As the ambulance sped toward the hospital, I couldn't take my eyes off Kenan.
He looked so vulnerable, lying there with his leg bandaged.
"Does it hurt a lot?" I asked softly, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.
Kenan winced but tried to smile. "I've had worse," he said, though I could see the pain in his eyes. "But it's not great, I'll admit."
I squeezed his hand, my heart aching for him. "You'll be okay," I said, trying to reassure both of us.
When we arrived at the hospital, the medical team quickly took over, wheeling Kenan into the emergency room.
I followed closely, refusing to leave his side. The doctors examined him, and after what felt like an eternity, they finally had some answers.
"It's a moderate sprain," the doctor said. "He'll need some time to recover, but with proper care, he should be fine."
I let out a sigh of relief, tears of gratitude filling my eyes. "Thank you," I said to the doctor. "Can I stay with him?"
"Of course," the doctor replied. "We'll get him settled in a room, and you can stay with him."
Once Kenan was settled into his hospital room, I sat by his side, holding his hand. He looked exhausted but managed to smile at me.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," he said quietly. "I didn't want to worry you."
I shook my head, tears spilling over. "Don't apologize, Kenan. I'm just glad you're okay. I was so scared."
He reached up, gently wiping my tears away. "I'm okay, thanks to you. Just having you here makes everything better."
I leaned in, kissing his forehead. "I'll take care of you, Kenan. Whatever you need, I'm here."
Kenan's eyes softened with gratitude. "Thank you, Y/N. I don't know what I'd do without you."
For the next few hours, I stayed by his side, doing everything I could to make him comfortable. I adjusted his pillows, made sure he had water, and held his hand whenever he needed reassurance.
The hospital staff was kind and efficient, but I knew that Kenan needed more than just medical care. He needed to know he wasn't alone.
As night fell, I settled into the chair beside his bed, refusing to leave. "You should go home and get some rest," Kenan said, his voice filled with concern.
I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you, Kenan. I'll sleep here if I have to."
He smiled, his eyes filled with love. "You’re amazing, you know that?"
I blushed, feeling the warmth of his affection. "I just care about you. I want to make sure you’re okay."
Kenan reached out, taking my hand in his. "I’m so lucky to have you," he said softly. "You mean everything to me, Y/N."
I leaned in, kissing him gently. "And you mean everything to me, Kenan. We'll get through this together."
The next few days were a blur of hospital visits and check-ups. Kenan's teammates and friends came by to check on him, offering their support and well-wishes.
But through it all, I never left his side, determined to be there for him every step of the way.
One afternoon, as we sat together in his hospital room, Kenan looked at me with a serious expression. "Y/N, I need to tell you something."
I felt a pang of anxiety. "What is it?"
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. "When I was lying on the field, all I could think about was you. How much I love you, and how much I need you in my life. I don't ever want to be without you."
Tears filled my eyes as I listened to his heartfelt words. "Kenan..."
He squeezed my hand, his voice trembling with emotion. "Will you stay with me? Not just now, but always? Will you be by my side, through everything?"
I nodded, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Yes, Kenan. Always. I love you so much."
He smiled, his eyes filled with love. "I love you too, Y/N. More than anything."
As I held his hand, I felt a sense of peace, knowing that our love would see us through any storm.
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spin the bottle
part of @rrxnjun 's "the crush chronicles" collab
PAIRING: childhood friend!donghyuck x female!reader (side pairing: friend!yangyang x friend!karina)
GENRE: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slightly angsty, coming-of-age, mc and hyuck grow apart and then become friends (or lovers!!) again, best friend!yangyang, best friend!karina, xiaojun and giselle are mentioned a couple times
WARNINGS: mentions of food, explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions and use of drugs, smoking, vomiting, use of pet names (barely lol), probably a bit too fluffy at the end, the side couple is lowkey more interesting than the main couple (oops), super cliché plot line, not proofread (please let me know if i missed anything)
WC: 21,2 k (oops lol)
‣[PLAYLIST]: amusement park by baekhyun, can i call you tonight? by dayglow, on the way by nct dream, fallingforyou by the 1975
SUMMARY: you knew you loved lee donghyuck ever since you met him, when the two of you were little kids. you had become best friends and were practically inseparable. until one day, donghyuck had to leave town and he also had to leave you. however, your feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger and you knew you had to confess to him when you met him again in college. but all this time, you kept suppressing them and you were always left wondering one thing; if he ever loved you back.
A/N: wow i can't believe it's finally here!! i've spent months working on this fic and i can say i'm very proud for actually finishing it. thank you everyone for being excited for it and especially thanks to @rrxnjun and the collab call for giving me the basis for developing this idea <3 enjoy reading this fic and don't forget to give me feedback, it helps me a lot<33
read on wattpad / ao3
You were five years old when you first fell in love. Or at least you thought you did. You could never know what falling in love meant at such a young age. But that’s how you want to describe it. Because your feelings for him could not be compared to how you felt about other boys. He could not be compared to other boys. That’s why you fell in love with him. But he didn’t fall in love with you. Or if he did, he never showed it.
Loud cheerful screams were the sound echoing in your ears, mixed with the soothing dreamy music coming from the merry-go-round ahead of you. The gate in front of you seemed ginormous in comparison to your small body. Rainbow fairy lights were climbing up the sides of the gate, confetti glued in between each one of them. White balloons were tied to the top and bottom corners of the pillars, leading up to the bright red and gold sign at the top which read ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
Your eyes were roaming around the place, looking up to the sky and then left and right to the amusement park your mum took you. Soft awes and chuckles left your lips every time you spotted something new. Everything seemed magical in your eyes, the music and the colors transporting your little brain to different dimensions; this was indeed dreamland.
You stopped in front of the merry-go-round and inspected it. The blue, gold and white horses were moving up and down to the rhythm of the music, kids were riding them with cheerful smiles on their faces. You wanted to go there too. You looked at your mother to ask her to get on the merry-go-round. You opened your mouth when-
“Y/n! Y/n!” a cheery voice was calling your name. You stopped to look towards the direction of the sound, only to spot your best friend. “Yangyang!”
You let go of your mother’s hand and sprinted towards him, capturing him into a tight hug. “Wanna go to the horses?” you asked him eagerly.
“Yes! Let’s go” he agreed and your mothers helped you get on the merry-go-round. After all, it was your favorite.
You and Yangyang went on almost every ride of the amusement park. You loved bumper cars, you went on the ferris wheel with your mothers and went on almost twenty rounds on the kids’ roller coaster. You even tried to catch a teddy bear at the claw machines, but you couldn’t get the chance to do so.
After hours of trying all of the amusement park rides, your little stomach started growling and the smell of food everywhere around you only triggered your hunger more. You passed by the food canteens, smelling and taking in all the delicious scents. "What should I choose?" you thought. Just then, you spotted a stand with something strange looking; it was multi-colored fluff on sticks. Cotton candy. You had never seen it before, so you had to try it.
“Mum! I want to try this! It looks like clouds! I want the pink one!”
Your mum agreed and bought you and Yangyang one stick of cotton candy each, while his mum bought you drinks.
You went over to the tables to sit and eat your cotton candy. You sat down on a chair and took a bite. You didn’t know what to expect, but the sugary flavor definitely met those expectations.
“Wow, it tastes so pink! And it feels like the clouds! It's so fluffy!” your mother laughed at your excitement and agreed.
Yangyang was eating his cotton candy too, but he suddenly grabbed your hand and dragged you down the chair. “Let’s go for a walk. Mum, can we go for a walk?” he turned to ask his mother.
His mum shrugged. “Okay, but not too far from here, I want to see you” she said and we left, grinning.
Obviously, you didn’t listen to her. You liked the freedom you had at that moment, so you went strolling through the entire amusement park.
You and Yangyang were holding each other’s hand so that neither of you run away and got lost. Your other hands were holding the cotton candy. You felt so small among the other people and the huge amusement park rides, but you liked it. You felt at ease.
Yangyang let go of your hand and started skipped in front of you. “In the count of three I’ll start running and you will chase after me to catch me!” he said leaving you still.
“No! Yangyang, I can’t run fast!”
Yangyang didn’t listen to you. He smirked instead and started counting. “One, Two. Three!”
“Wait!” you yelled, but he had already run away.
You sighed and started running through the crowd too. You could still spot him in between other people, but you couldn’t run that fast and stumbled when taking longer steps.
Yangyang stopped and turned back to look at you. He smiled and yelled. “Come on, you’re almost there!” and resumed running.
You were breathing heavily, your feet were feeling sore, and you couldn’t move with ease through the crowd. You took a deep breath and gathered all your energy to run as fast as you could. Your only focus was to catch your friend Yangyang, who was now walking backwards looking at you with a smug expression. You had blocked out your surroundings entirely and didn’t notice that another boy was running too. And he was running towards your direction.
Yangyang was now standing, waiting for you to catch him. “I got you!” you shouted before you let out a scream and fell on the ground. The other boy was running fast too, which ended in him bumping into you. Both of you and the other boy fell down on your butts, the cotton candy you were holding was now smashed and dropped on the ground too.
“No! My fluff!” you frowned, tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.
Yangyang was shocked to see you fall. He came over to you to help you get up, smoothening your dress. “Are you okay Y/n? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get you hurt” he was the one that sounded more hurt.
“It’s okay Yangyang” you reassured him. “But my fluff fell too! I wanted to eat it!” you whined.
Yangyang hugged you. “Don’t worry, we’ll buy a new one."
The other boy steadily stood up by himself. “I’m sorry, I was running too. I didn’t see you.” The boy said, his head lowered.
Neither you or Yangyang responded, so he lifted his head slowly to look at you. “I can buy you cotton candy if you’d like. Sorry” he apologized again.
But you couldn’t speak now either. He looked at you with sorrow eyes, plump lips forming a pout. You took a moment to really look at him. His skin was darker than yours, he was slightly taller than you, his bowl-cut covered his eyebrows, moles on his cheek and neck.
You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach clench. You cleared your throat and spoke. “Don’t be sorry, I was running too.”
The boy nodded. “My name is Donghyuck. What’s yours?” he asked.
“I’m Y/n and this is my friend Yangyang” you pointed at your friend beside you and he flashed a bright smile to the other boy, Donghyuck.
Donghyuck smiled too and you felt your stomach clench again. “Do you guys want to be friends?” he asked and both you and Yangyang nodded. “Yes let’s be friends! Do you wanna go ride the bumper cars?” Yangyang said and grabbed both yours and Donghyuck's hands.
That’s the first memory you had of him. The first time you saw him, and the first time you've ever felt this weird clenching feeling in your stomach. This was a memory you would always cherish and always remember dearly. But you weren't really sure if he held this memory as close to his heart as you did.
Beep. Pause. Beep
Why isn’t he picking up the phone? You had called Yangyang three times already. Where is he?
You put your phone in your pocket and grabbed the books you needed for your next class from your locker. As you locked it, an arm linked with yours and dragged you to the corridor.
“Are you ready for this new semester? I heard new students transferred to our department, they might be hot” your best friend Jimin was smirking, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Yeah they might be, but I have a class now and Yangyang isn’t here, I can’t cover up for him on the first day!” you complained.
“Oh come on Y/n, you know how he is. He probably slept in, he’ll be here, don’t worry” she said and you nodded.
You were walking towards your class, greeting a few of your old colleagues on the way. It was your third year of college already, but it still felt like your first day.
You and Jimin parted ways and went to your respective classes. You agreed to meet up later for coffee and lunch, after classes ended.
The amphitheater was almost full; you managed to spot an empty seat at the back of the room and hurried to sit there before someone else took that seat.
You sat down and placed the books on top of the desk. You checked your phone again and saw that Yangyang had now texted you.
[Yangles]
slept in. don’t save me a seat
ttyl :)
Typical Yangyang. You sighed and put your phone aside as the lecture was about to start.
For the next two hours, you couldn’t concentrate on the lecture because of the group of friends chatting behind you. If you were honest, their conversation was a lot more interesting than the lecture.
The girls behind you kept talking about the new students at the computer engineering department. You heard comments such as “oh he is so hot” and ��they looked at me and winked”. Oh Jimin is gonna love the tea.
The lecture finally ended and you headed towards the coffee shop in which Jimin asked you to meet her. You sent her a text to let her know you’re on your way. As you were typing the text, suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder. So you let out a loud-ass scream.
“Guess who’s here!” Yangyang exclaimed, a wide grin plastered across his face, eyes bright, his loud voice a bit too close to your ear. If you ever become deaf, it’s all his fault.
“Oh good morning to you too Yangyang, I’m fine thanks and you?” you said ironically and he rolled his eyes at your comment.
“Cut the ironies bestie, I met Donghyuck earlier” he said and your feet froze and stayed glued right where you were standing.
But you haven’t seen him in years. He moved out of town when you were fifteen, right before high school, because his parents found a better job. He had promised both you and Yangyang that he would call and maybe even visit you whenever he could. And he kept his promise for a while, but after things got tougher with school, his phone calls and occasional visits stopped.
Your stomach clenched. You gulped and removed Yangyang’s arm from your shoulder. “what do you mean Donghyuck is here?”
“I mean that Donghyuck is here” he said, rolling his eyes again, but his tone was serious. “He transferred to the computer engineering department. I came across him on campus and met his friends too. Real cool guys. He asked me about you too.”
“He did?” you regret speaking, because you didn’t expect your voice to come out that shaky.
“Um yeah, why wouldn’t he? He wants us to meet and hang out, just like the good old days. Are you free now?”
“No, I’m actually meeting Jimin for coffee now. I was texting her before you scared the shit out of me” you said.
Yangyang laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll tell Hyuck you said hi” he squeezed your cheek and left.
But you were still standing frozen, trying to comprehend what Yangyang just told you. Donghyuck is back. He is back and you couldn’t wait to see him again. So he does remember you. There must be a reason why he didn’t contact you all these years. People’s lives change, right? Does he still look as pretty as he did back then? Does he still care about you as he did back then? All these questions started forming one after the other in your head, but you couldn’t distract yourself from the clenching feeling in your stomach. In fact, these exact questions were to blame for causing you this feeling.
You were ten years old when you fell in love again. Not that you ever fell out of love. But at least now you were sure about your feelings. It wasn’t something you had made up; it was rather a confirmation that you had loved him ever since the day you saw him.
You had went to the park with Yangyang and Donghyuck. The three of you decided to do sports in the park; Yangyang took his skateboard with him and Yangyang took his bike. You, however, didn’t take anything with you; you didn’t know how to skate and you certainly didn’t know how to ride a bike. You just wanted to tag along because you had fun spending time with your friends.
But Donghyuck had offered to help you learn how to ride a bike. Yangyang bursted out laughing so hard when Donghyuck said that. “I tried to teach her how to skate once and let me tell you, I wouldn’t even think about teaching her how to ride a bike” Yangyang said.
Yangyang always found his way to make fun of you. He didn’t do it in order to be mean; it was anything but that. He liked teasing you because you would get annoyed and then he would apologize because he felt bad. “I didn’t mean it Y/n” he would say. “I know” you always responded.
But that day Donghyuck was present in this conversation. What you didn’t expect was for him to stand up for you. “Well, in her defense Yangyang” he started “skating is too hard. It needs patience both by the skater and the student. The bike is a bit easier to handle. I think Y/n can do it”.
Every time Donghyuck spoke about you, your stomach clenched. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel this way. Was it his eyes? His smile? His honey skin? His soft voice? His kindness and humor? The way he treated you? You didn’t know.
Yangyang agreed with Donghyuck. “You’re right, I didn’t mean what I said. Just so you know. I think you can do this Y/n” he said, his smile fading.
“Don’t apologize Yangles, I know you didn’t mean it” you said and his signature grin appeared on his face again.
You eventually learned how to ride a bike. Donghyuck helped you every time; he taught you how to keep your balance, held you every time you were about to fall and did it every day until you were finally able to do it on your own.
One day he asked you to go to the park to ride your bikes together. Yangyang said he couldn’t come because he felt sick. So it was just you and Donghyuck.
You always felt such comfort with him. He reminded you of a warm summer day in nature. His pure gaze felt like the sun rays hitting your skin, his plump lips seemed to be as soft as the cotton fields, his laugh livelier than the chirping birds. He was comfort himself.
That day the two of you went biking, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you felt. You felt free, independent, powerful. The world surrounding you was in a haze, the only sight you could see was him, the only sound you could hear was his voice.
But sometimes it felt nice not hearing his voice. It meant that he was at peace, and you were too. You had left your bikes standing against a tree and the two of you sat down on the grassy ground to just stare at the sunset. You both loved the sunset.
Donghyuck’s arm was resting on your lower back, his head leaning towards yours, which was resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, when you sat in a position like this, you would try to match your breathing with his. If you were to be honest, you would admit that it was quite hard.
Donghyuck’s gaze was set on the colorful sea of clouds ahead of him, You did the same. He didn’t turn to look at you when he spoke up. “You know, Y/n, at moments like this, I realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. You are truly the best friend I could ever have. I would never leave you, okay?”
The words he uttered at this exact moment confirmed that you sure loved him. More than just a friend. But you could never open up to him about this. He could never know. Not when he wasn’t feeling the same. Not when he didn’t keep his promise.
Jimin was sitting at a coffee table near the window, sipping from a white plastic cup while texting on her phone. You skipped towards her and sat down on the chair opposite from hers. “Donghyuck is here”.
She put down both her cup and her phone and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Don’t tell me he’s one of the transfer students” she said.
“Well, apparently he is” you said. “Yangyang told me. They’ve already met. Plus, he asked about me”.
Jimin’s bottom lip dropped down to her jaw. “What?” she said again. “Okay, when are we meeting him? I need to have a word with him”.
You laughed at her reaction. “Stop it Jimin, I’m over him now. It’s been years since I had a crush on him.” you said.
“I don’t believe you. You can’t trick me with that. I won’t fall for it.” she said, her tone serious. “I know you dated and all, but you always compared everyone to Donghyuck. You expect me to believe that you moved on?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Whatever” you said.
The two of you paused for a moment before Jimin spoke up. “Do you think he got even hotter?”
You laughed at her comment and playfully slapped her forearm. “Stop it Jimin!”. She was now laughing too. “I don’t know, okay? He might be.” you said.
“Do you want to see him?” Jimin asked you and your eyes shifted down to your lap.
You seriously didn’t know. A part of you wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him and feel him again, ask him about his life and interests, spend time with him. But a part of you was scared; scared that if you saw him, you would fall in love with him again.
“My guess is that you do. Come on, I missed him a bit too” Jimin said and you chuckled. “Now, how about we get you some coffee and you tell me about your day, hm?” Jimin asked and you nodded in agreement.
The next day Yangyang insisted on picking you up from your dorm and driving you to your classes. He felt bad he missed the first day of the semester so he decided to make up for standing you up by driving you to class. You grabbed your phone to text him and let him know that you were ready but he beat you to it. He was already parked outside the dorm complex waiting for you in his car.
You opened the door from the passenger’s side and got inside the car. “Hey” you greeted him and he did the same, flashing you his signature wide grin.
“Don’t make plans for later. We’re going out tonight. You, me and Donghyuck” he said after he turned on the engine.
The mention of this specific name took you aback. You muttered a small “okay” and you hoped he heard you the first time so you wouldn’t have to repeat it. “Should I tell Jimin to tag along? She said she would like to hang out all together too” you asked.
Yangyang shrugged. “Yeah sure, I haven’t seen her in a while. Hyuck would love to see her too” he said.
You thanked him for agreeing to invite Jimin and smiled at him. But you couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling that appeared again in your stomach.
Your thoughts carried you away and you didn’t realize you had already arrived at campus. Yangyang parked the car and both of you exited it. You exchanged a short conversation of “see you later” and “text me for any news” and went to your respective classes.
The day went by in a flash. It was already afternoon and you were in your dorm with Jimin, your closet wide open, clothes scattered all over the bed.
You let out a frustrated sigh. “I officially don’t have any clothes” you whined.
“No, you do,” Jimin said, “you’re just nervous. And I don’t even know the reason why, I thought you were over Donghyuck, right?”
“Jimin please, you’re making this even harder!” you whined again.
Jimin got up from the chair and stood in front of your closet. She searched through the racks and the drawers for a while until she stopped and put an outfit on your bed. “Here,” she said, “get dressed. And do it quickly. We’re gonna be late”.
You complied and took the clothes to get dressed. It’s just a meet up with old friends. Nothing to be stressed about. You didn’t have a crush on Donghyuck anymore either. You were probably nervous, or rather excited, because you hadn’t seen him in a long time. Yeah, that’s probably why.
You were supposed to meet Yangyang and Donghyuck at the local diner. Yangyang promised to be there earlier so that you and Jimin wouldn’t have to be the ones to wait for them. You weren’t sure whether you should believe him or not; every time he promises to be early, there’s only gonna appear something on his way to make him late.
Jimin offered to drive the two of you to the diner that you were supposed to meet your friends at. You’ve been to this diner before, you’re going out with your best friends, just a normal night out. But why is your heart beating so hard? Why does it feel like it’s about to rip your chest apart and fly out of your body?
Jimin parked the car in the diner’s parking lot. You spotted Yangyang’s car in the parking lot too, two figures standing beside it. It must be them. It must be him.
“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Jimin waved her hand in front of your face and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “I see them, let’s go” she said and exited the car.
You imitate her movements and get out of the car too. Jimin noticed your uneasiness, so she linked her arm with yours and walked with you towards the boys.
Yangyang and Donghyuck seemed to have a conversation about something and didn’t realize you were right there, standing in front of them. “We’re here” Jimin spoke up and the two boys turned their bodies to look at us.
Your gaze immediately fell on the boy that made your heart beat and break at the same time. Black leather jacket hanging from his shoulders, black skinny jeans and boots covering his long legs, comma-styled black hair exposing his forehead. You locked eyes with him, his chocolate ones piercing through yours, plump lips sliding upwards to a wide smile. You swear you saw sparkles in his eyes for a second. Only your heart knew the answer.
“Y/n” Donghyuck breathed out and you returned his smile, before you threw yourself on him and embraced him tightly.
He started laughing. “I missed you so much” he said in your ear and you were thankful he wasn’t able to see your face because your cheeks were almost on fire. “Cute, but I wish I could say the same bitch-ass” you laughed too.
“Oh shut up, you haven’t seen me in years and this is the treatment I get?”.Of course he clapped back. Typical Donghyuck. And right there and then, it felt as if not a single day had passed.
You hugged him tightly. You forgot how comfortable he felt. He had rested his chin in the crook of your neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to do the same. He had definitely grown a bit taller since the last time you saw him. You took a moment to remember his scent, to feel his touch, to hear his voice. And then the clenching feeling was there again.
Yangyang cleared his throat. “Um, we’re here too, you know” he trailed off. You and Donghyuck broke the hug and Donghyuck motioned Yangyang and Jimin to join you in a group hug. Your cheekbones hurt because you were smiling so hard. Your heart fluttered. You were happy.
Yangyang was the first one to break off the hug because he started whining and said he was hungry, so he went inside the diner and invited us in. Donghyuck followed shortly after him, leaving you and Jimin behind. Jimin turned at you and mouthed “girl he’s so hot” and went inside the diner. Typical Jimin, you thought.
Time seemed to have stopped and felt like you were trapped in a loop. Spending time with your favorite people, laughing, talking, reminiscing about the past while making plans for the future. You only stopped the conversations when you had to take a bite from your food or take a sip from your drink. Yangyang didn’t seem to be bothered by that though.
“So,” Donghyuck started and you shifted your gaze to your drink “are you still dating that guy Y/n?”
Oh he was talking to you. You looked up at him, confused. “Who? Dejun? Well, no, we broke up, like, so long ago” you said.
“Yeah he yeeted his way out to be a model in China or something, honestly who even cares? I almost forgot about him” Yangyang said after he emptied his glass of beer.
Donghyuck chuckled at Yangyang’s remark and went back to eating his food. Jimin kicked you under the table and when you looked at her side, she was smirking.
“Well Yangyang, how about you tell us about your relationship, hm?” you asked him and he choked on his food. He started coughing and Donghyuck patted him on his back to help him breathe.
“Let's not talk about it bestie, okay? I know I fucked up” he said after he caught his breath.
“Why what happened? Donghyuck asked, intrigued.
Jimin was the one who spoke this time. “He's supposed to be dating this girl but he never texts her, calls her or takes her out. Basically he never wants to spend time with her. I seriously don’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him yet”.
Yangyang lowered his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t wanna see her,” he muttered, “but I may or may not have lost feelings and I kinda don’t know how to tell her”.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a coward you would confront her and stop playing with her. It’s that easy you know. Whether you love or don’t love someone anymore, you should tell them before it’s too late” you told him.
“Sounds brave coming from you, Y/n” his response caught you off guard. You threw a piercing glare at him and before you opened your mouth to speak, Jimin spoke over you. “Maybe we should change the topic, what do you think?” she said.
You and Yangyang exchanged a look and focused your attention on your food. Donghyuck chuckled at the interaction between you and your best friend, but he didn’t say anything.
The rest of the night went on smoothly and you soon forgot about the tension between you and Yangyang from earlier. He was right though. You should consider your own advice sometimes. Why can’t you tell Donghyuck you like him? Why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance to do so? Your feelings for him began to resurface and it was just the first time you saw him after years. You couldn’t let yourself make the same mistake again.
The entire night you and Donghyuck kept throwing hidden glances at each other. You caught him staring at you multiple times and if you were honest with yourself, you did stare at him too. You couldn’t ignore the fact that he looked beautiful. He had always been beautiful.
Your mind, however, was focused on something else, something you wanted to have an answer to. Why did he stop reaching out for you when he left? You needed to know the reason why. He must have had a reason. You tried to push this thought aside and allowed yourself to have a good time. I’ll ask him another time, you thought.
You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. And it was none other than Lee Donghyuck himself who stole it from you. Part of you believed that the reason you were so attached to him even now was because of that day; he gave you your first kiss. But a part of you knew that the kiss was the incident that tied everything together.
Donghyuck announced one day that the company his parents worked in was moving their main offices to a different town, so they had to move away from this place. The same day, you announced to your friend Jimin that you had your first heartbreak. Of course you were going to miss him. A lot. Yangyang was sad too that day. Jimin didn’t know him well enough, but she still felt sad when Donghyuck told you all.
The day before Donghyuck and his family would move away, Yangyang had an idea; to throw a goodbye party for Donghyuck. Donghyuck disagreed and said that a normal hangout with all of us would be just fine, but Yangyang insisted on throwing a party at his place. It will still be just the four of us but a little bit fancier, he had said.
So eventually everyone agreed. The previous day, you and Yangyang went to the shops to buy snacks and some decorations. You were walking around the convenience store aisles when Yangyang finally admitted to his ulterior motives.
“So, Y/n, here’s what we’re gonna do. For the party. I think we should play games but in a more adult way, if you know what I mean” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.
You looked at him confused and urged him to continue. “So we’ll play spin the bottle. And before you protest, no we’re not gonna drink anything with alcohol in it because we’re gonna get caught, but it’s gonna be a good excuse for me to kiss Jimin and for you to kiss Donghyuck”.
You stopped walking with a bag of chips in your hands and turned to him. “Are you out of your mind? This cannot happen, ever!” you whisper-shouted at him.
“Oh come on Y/n, don’t be such a party pooper. We both win in the end so what’s the matter?” he whined.
You thought for a few seconds. “They might be uncomfortable and turn down your offer. We want to have fun, remember? Plus, I don’t think Jimin likes you back and Donghyuck certainly doesn’t like me back either” you said and put that bag of chips you were holding into the shopping cart.
“Okay, Jimin might not like me back but I am completely, utterly, absolutely sure that Hyuck likes you” Yangyang said but you ignored him.
As if the odds were against you that day, Jimin and Donghyuck agreed on Yangyang’s suggestion. Jimin wasn’t that fond of the idea of playing spin the bottle at first, but eventually the boys convinced her and she said yes. You had no other choice but to agree too.
You wanted to kiss Donghyuck. You really did. But not in a forced scenario and definitely not in front of Yangyang. You wouldn’t bear his annoying ass teasing you about it for the rest of your life. But this could be my chance to finally confess to him, you thought. But even if you did, nothing would change. He would still leave town the next morning.
Yangyang grabbed the glass of cola you emptied earlier and put it on the ground. You gathered up sitting on the ground too. You looked at Jimin and she smiled at you. “Don’t think about it too much Y/n, it’s just a game”. It wasn’t just a game to you.
Yangyang was the first one to spin the bottle. The empty cola bottle spun for a few seconds, four sets of eyes staring at it with laser rays coming out of them. The bottle started gradually spinning less quickly, until it took three, two, one seconds before it stopped and became still; the top part of the bottle was pointing at Jimin and the bottom part was at Yangyang’s side. “Oh my god Jimin has to kiss you bro” Donghyuck said, smiling.
“This game is bullshit, I don’t wanna do it” Jimin said and crossed her arms. Jimin’s words made Yangyang’s lips drop down to a frown.
“Come on Jimin, it’s just a game, you said it yourself” Donghyuck said. Jimin sighed and leaned towards Yangyang. “Fine, come here then you bitch” she said before she grabbed Yangyan’s jaw and kissed him on the lips. You and Donghyuck stayed still, watching them. Jimin only went in to peck Yangyang, but he went all the way in and kissed her properly. Jimin was quick to react and pulled away from him.. “Ew, don’t do that! We agreed on just a kiss not a full on makeout session. Jeez Yangyang” she said and sat back down at her side.
Yangyang tried to hide the sulk on his face. “I tried to taste your chapstick more, you bitch, but it turns out it tastes awful. What the fuck is this taste?” Yangyang said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
“It's vanilla” Jimin said. Yangyang loved vanilla.
The game continued for a couple of rounds and every single time, as if it was its fate, the bottle landed on Jimin and Yangyang. Jimin had already had enough with kissing Yangyang just once, so she suggested that they avoid the kissing part and just hug instead. This went on and on and on until the bottle spun again, going round and round and round until it stopped in three, two, one. But this time, the bottle’s ends were pointing towards two different directions. The bottom part on you, the top part on Donghyuck.
You gulped and looked at him. He seemed calm, relaxed. For him, it was just a game. Sitting there at that moment, looking right into his deep brown eyes, you regretted agreeing to play this game. And you made a mental note to slap Yangyang after all of this was over.
“Now this is getting interesting” Yangyang whispered just loud enough for you to hear him and went over to Jimin's side to sit beside her and watch.
Donghyuck licked his lips and leaned over towards you. You hoped he wouldn't be able to listen to the drumming sounds of your heart or see the embarrassingly vibrant red color on your cheeks. You just went along with it. It’s just a game, right?
Donghyuck was standing a bit too close to you, probably the closest the two of you have been physically. Or rather, the most intimate you’ve been together. He lowered his head to meet your eye level, and came closer to your face just enough so that his lips were grazing over your ear. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just for fun” he whispered to you. Suddenly, this wasn’t just fun anymore.
Donghyuck pulled away from your ear and was now staring deep into your eyes, his face almost attached to yours. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, so you gave him a nod too, signaling him that you were fine.
Before you could even process what was about to happen, Donghyuck leaned in and kissed you. Plump lips captured yours in a soft dancing motion, their taste perfectly resembling a mix of the pizza and cola he had earlier. Shock waves run throughout your entire body, as he moved his hand to the back of your neck to support you.
You allowed yourself to fall entirely into him, eyes closed and lips moving along the rhythm he created. A few seconds felt like hours, his homely yet unfamiliar touch making your stomach clench and your face heat up in love.
And then he stopped. Donghyuck pulled back and flashed the brightest smile you had ever seen painted on his beautiful face. He licked his lips and you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your lap to avoid his piercing gaze. Your heart was still beating rapidly. You could taste his lips on your lips, you could feel the touch of his hand in the back of your neck, you could hear the sound of his beating heart, you could sense his cool breath fanning your burning face. Donghyuck had stopped kissing you, but the sensation of his kiss was still present in your entire body. You just had your first kiss, and at the same time, you had your first kiss with Donghyuck.
“Gosh you were kissing for ages. Like, get a room, or something” Yangyang said and went back to sit on the side of the room he was previously sitting in. Jimin threw you a playful wink secretly from the boys. You knew what it meant. We need to talk later type of wink.
It was getting late and Donghyuck’s parents called him to go back home. He needed to leave sooner than the rest of you because he still hadn’t packed all of his things. You greeted him one last time before he walked out the door to leave.
As the door closed, you felt your heart sink down the deepest ocean, a piece of it shattering, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, dryness in your throat. You missed him already. It had been just a couple of seconds since he walked out the door and your heart to go out that door with him too.
A tear streamed down your cheek.So this was it. A second tear followed shortly after the first one. Then another one. And another one. Soon enough a pool of tears was running down your face and it hadn’t occurred to you that you were going to miss him that much.
But as if a lightning bolt struck you, you quickly wiped your tears with the palm of your hands, stormed out the door and ran after Donghyuck.
“Donghyuck!” you yelled and he stopped to look back at you. You were lucky he heard your voice, he hadn’t walked that far though, you were quick to react and follow after him, just so you could spend some more time with him. You and him. “Do you mind if I walk you home?” you asked him and he nodded.
You skipped a bit so that you could walk beside him. You started walking alongside Donghyuck, taking a few seconds to catch your breath until it came back to its normal rate. “So, when are we gonna see you again?” you asked him. He left a low chuckle and shook his head.
“I honestly don’t know, Y/n” he said. Another piece of your heart shattered.
Donghyuck noticed your saddened expression and took your hand in his. "Hey, look at me” he said. You stopped and turned towards him, taking in the details of his face. His chocolate eyes were gleaming under the moonlight, the moles on his dark cheek reminded you of the stars in the night sky.
“I will not forget you. Ever. Always remember that. I will try my best to call you as much as I can, all of you. You guys are my best friends, I could never leave you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, it won’t be that easy for me to visit you often. but I promise to make up for all the time that we will lose. Especially for you. But I can’t be sure when that will be.”
A tear slipped down your cheek again and he wiped it away with his thumb. Why is he being like this all of a sudden?
Your voice wasn’t strong enough at that moment for you to speak, so you opened your arms to embrace him instead. And he hugged you back so tightly you thought your body would be merged with his. He buried his head at the crook of your neck and you stayed there for a while, feeling the presence of your bodies on each other. Not a single word was said, yet you felt so comfortable and safe in his arms.
That night you had helped him pack his things. You stayed in his room afterwards, talking, laughing, crying. God you were going to miss him. That day, you thought for the first time ever that maybe your feelings were reciprocated. But he said nothing about it. So you didn’t say anything either.
But you wanted to. It felt like all the words were stuck in your throat and there was something blocking them from coming out. I like you Donghyuck, I like you a lot. It was that easy. But for some reason, you couldn’t say it out loud. Maybe you didn’t want to. Maybe you were too scared of rejection. Or maybe you were afraid of losing a friend.
You and Donghyuck were sitting at the stairs of his porch, next to each other, facing the stars of the night sky. You didn’t want to go home. You couldn’t. You wanted to stay there longer, kiss him again, talk to him about anything and then kiss him again.
When you stood up to leave, he hugged you one last time, stroking your hair lightly. He spoke in a low voice in your ear. “I’ll be back. Don’t forget me”.
How could I ever forget you Donghyuck?
The day after you met Donghyuck at the diner, he texted you and asked to hang out later after your classes. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t screech like a schoolgirl the moment you saw his text message on your phone when you woke up.
Of course you agreed to meet him. At that moment, you didn’t feel nervous, at all, but as time passed your stomach was clenching more and more.
Jimin wouldn’t stop nudging you about it the entire day. She wanted to meet up for lunch because she was dying to talk about this ever since you came back home last night. “The first thing he did in the morning was to ask you to hang out later? Yeah, sounds like a date to me” she said.
You rolled your eyes at her. “It's not a date, drop it. He just wants us to hang out, that’s it” you said.
“Are you sure that you want to just hang out though?” she asked you.
You thought for a second. “Well, no, but I won't try to do anything more than that” you said.
“Whatever,” Jimin said “you have to tell him sometime though, you know that right? And you also have to admit to yourself that you never really got over him, so now that he’s here you have to make your move. You had your chance once and you lost it. So don’t lose it again now”.
You sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the same” you said.
“Who gives a fuck?” Jimin said “If he doesn’t feel the same, you will close this chapter and begin a new one. There are other fish in the sea too, you know”
Yeah but it’s not the same, you whispered to yourself. Jimin didn’t hear you.
As soon as you came back to your dorm, you went straight to searching through your closet for an outfit to wear later, when your phone chimed.
[Hyuck]
meet me at the park in about hour
[Hyuck]
bring your bike too
You were staring at your phone screen until it turned off. Oh he’s such a little bitch, you thought.
You put on comfortable clothes and running shoes, and decided to ride your bike on the way to the park. The sun was beginning to set; orange and pink hues painted the sky, a light chilly breeze combing through your hair. The park was still lively, little kids were playing with each other, old couples were going for walks, some students were studying under the trees.
You hadn’t been to the park since the day Donghyuck left. Yangyang wanted to go skating there from time to time, but every time he asked you to keep him company, you turned down his offer. Then, he started filling his time with dating girls and you started spending more time with Jimin, so the park wasn’t your go-to place to hang out anymore.
You saw Donghyuck leaning against a tree, foot resting on top of the bike’s pedal, same black leather jacket as the day before, a bucket hat hiding his pretty features. He was scrolling through his phone as you approached him.
“Hey” you said and his head shot up, turning off his phone and placing it in his pocket. “Y/n, hi” he said and smiled. You smiled back at him. He looked beautiful when he smiled.
“So, you still like the park, I see” you said. He nodded and hopped on his bike. “I do. So come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we have to catch up on a lot of things. And I promised to make up for all the time we lost. So, let’s go” he said and started riding his bike.
You followed shortly after him until you were now biking beside him. So he does remember his promise, you thought. You smiled to yourself and pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind. You wanted to enjoy your time with him, just like the old times.
You spent hours biking and talking about anything. Donghyuck told you stories from his high school years, the friends he met on the way, how he changed his college major and decided to come back here to study computer engineering.
“A part of me wanted this change because I missed this town, you know? I have so many memories here, I was kinda attached to this place. All I needed was a valid reason to come back, and I found one, so here I am.” he said.
You couldn’t help but bring the same questions to your mind, so you gathered all of your strength and asked him. “Then why didn’t you visit us at all? Or even call us back? You did at first and then you stopped. Why?”
Donghyuck pulled the breaks of his bike and rested his feet on the ground to stop the bike from moving. You mimicked his actions and stood there searching his features for an answer. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you. You couldn’t see his face clearly because the bucket hat was casting a shadow over his features.
“Honestly, I don’t really know. I didn’t want to stop contacting you, but I don’t know why I did it.” He paused for a few moments. He drew in a breath and started again. “You know what, I think I know, but I can’t tell you now. Maybe some other time, okay?” he said.
You were left confused, but decided not to question him any further. Instead, you nodded and smiled at him. He would tell you when he was ready to do so.
The sky was getting darker and darker and both your stomachs growled in hunger. Donghyuck suggested that you buy takeout and sit under at the park to stargaze. You left your bikes leaning against a random tree and put your jackets on the ground to sit on them.
The sky looked beautiful. The stars and the moon were shining brightly, contrasting with the pitch black background of the sky. Donghyuck was staring at the sky when he spoke up “I remember how much you liked watching the sky when you were younger. You were always watching the stars closely and we made bets on which one would fall first.”
You chuckled at the memory. “And you always lost. Every. Single. Time. Seriously, you have no intuition at all. You had won one time and bragged about it forever” you said and he laughed.
He turned his head to face you. He had taken off his hat too, his black hair was falling over his eyes. “You were just lucky all the other times. Don’t flatter yourself” he said.
You sat there and ate your food in silence. Comfortable silence. The only sound that was heard was the singing of the cicadas in the trees and occasionally your munching on the food.
Everything felt at ease again. You and Donghyuck, sitting beside each other, enjoying each other’s company, not having to utter a single word. You were smiling at yourself, it really felt as if not a single day had passed.
Donghyuck looked back at the sky and took a sip from his drink before he addressed you. “You really improved. Biking, I mean. I remember you were still struggling when I left” he said.
“Thanks, I still rode my bike to school so that I could get used to it more. Thank you for teaching me by the way. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly” you said.
“It's no problem” he said and sipped from his drink again.
He opened his mouth to speak again, changing the subject now. “So, why did you break up with that guy? Dejun, was it?” he asked.
Why is he so curious about that? “Oh, there were many reasons actually. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was really cool and I liked him a lot. It’s just that we got kinda bored of each other, I guess? And he also graduated from high school a year earlier than me so then he had to go back to China for college.”
Donghyuck nodded. “I see” he paused and asked again. “How was he like?”
“Why do you even bother so much? He is old news now, anyway” you said. But now you were curious about Donghyuck too. “Tell me about you, did you date anyone in high school?”
You don’t know why but you got anxious waiting for his answer. He shrugged. “Yeah but nothing serious. Just casual things, you know?” he said and you hummed in agreement.
The night went on and you talked more. You and Donghyuck agreed to hang out at the park every day after your classes, like you used to. That’s what he suggested. You couldn’t say no; of course you wanted to spend time with him.
And that’s what you did. You grew closer again, maybe even closer than you used to be. You enjoyed biking and stargazing in the park a lot. It had become your thing; an activity that the two of you shared with each other, an excuse to get away from everyone and everything and make up for all the memories you could have had.
There were quite a few moments when you wanted to look Donghyuck in the eyes and tell him I like you dumbass. But every single time you backed away from doing it. You were too scared that these harmless words would end up destroying everything you had built with him.
So you waited. You waited for the right time to bring it up. You were having the time of your life alongside a dear person that you’ve loved and appreciated your entire life. You were not ready to take the risk and possibly lose him. So you never said a word. Because he didn’t say any words either.
“Why does Donghyuck keep asking me about Dejun? What is so interesting about him? If he wants to find out more about him, he should be the one to date him” the frustration in your voice made a couple of people turn their heads from the tables next to yours.
Jimin took a fork bite of her carrot cake. “Girl, you must be joking” she said, munching on the piece of cake. “He asks about him because, guess what, he is jealous! J-e-a-l-o-u-s. Got it? Why are you so stupid, gosh! The man has clearly fallen for you and you are so oblivious of it!”.
“I mean why would he be jealous? Dejun and I broke up so long ago” you muttered to yourself.
Jimin heard that and, obviously, she wouldn’t leave it at that. “This is what happens when you like someone. Donghyuck keeps asking you about your ex boyfriend because he wants to make sure he’s in the clear to make a move.”
You sighed. “Is this why you keep asking Yangyang if he broke up with his girlfriend? Look, Jimin, I love you, but I don’t think Hyuck likes me. As a friend, yes. But nothing more than that.”
Jimin gulped down a glass full of water. “Okay, whatever floats your boat, Y/n” she said and took another fork bite of her cake. “So, did Yangyang tell you? A frat guy he knows is hosting a party this weekend, wanna go?” she asked you.
“Come on Jiminie, you know I don’t really do parties” you whined.
Jimin rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting a different answer. But we’re definitely going. There’s gonna be hot boys, good music and lots of alcohol. I heard Donghyuck is going too”.
“Well, he didn’t mention any party” you defended him. “He didn’t mention any party yet” Jimin corrected you. “He's gonna bring it up any second. I bet you can’t say no to him, you care too much about his feelings but you never care about mine” Jimin sulked.
You mentally slapped her only because you couldn’t bear to slap her for real. “I will go to the party because you want us to go, not because Donghyuck will supposedly be there. You know I always come along with you in everything. We come as a package, remember? Now, don’t sulk and eat your cake, we have to think about our outfits” you said. She was your best friend after all, it was the least you could do.
Jimin’s face lit up and her lips curved upwards, stretching all the way to her ears. Before she could open her mouth to speak, you cut her off. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get drunk, okay?” you said and lifted your pinky.
She linked her pinky finger with yours and nodded in agreement. “I don’t exactly promise it, but I’ll try my best” she said.
Donghyuck indeed mentioned the party later that day when you went out at the park with him. “I don’t really wanna go either Y/n, but all my friends are gonna be there. And now that you’re gonna be there too, I can’t be the only one missing out from all the fun” he said.
Donghyuck has had his fun share with parties during high school. He told you so one night at the park. He would sneak out the house and go to parties during weekends, but one night, or rather morning, he went home super drunk and threw up all over the front door rug. He claimed that this happened because of a dare his friends made him do and that he didn’t intend to drink as much as he did. After that, he avoided parties like the plague. It’s not that his parents never allowed him to go again; he could easily sneak out his window. He was smart enough to realize that parties were simply not good for him.
“I wanted to fit in with them, you know?” Donghyuck said “I got used to it eventually and I actually kinda liked it, but now I don’t really enjoy such things”.
That’s one of the many reasons you liked Donghyuck so much. His honesty. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about things that bothered him, or simply voice out his thoughts. So why wasn’t he doing it with his feelings too? Was it so hard for him too? Did he actually like you, like Jimin said? Or maybe you just wanted to believe that he did. If he really did, he would probably have said it by now.
But his actions spoke louder than his words. You couldn’t help but think about the way he looked at you under the night sky when you were staring at the stars but he was staring back at you. Or when he wiped your strawberry milk stains from the corners of your lips and his fingers stayed there brushing your lips a little longer than they should be. Or when he held you close to him among big crowds so that he wouldn’t lose you from his sight. Or when he would let you rest your head on his chest while he was stroking your hair so that you could fall asleep faster.
You swear you had heard him whisper something to you once, but when you asked him to repeat it he waved it off. Were you that desperate for his attention? Maybe. But maybe both of you were fools, afraid to let their heart be free because of the painful possibility that it might break.
You and Jimin were standing in front of the frat house door, the loud music blasting through the speakers behind the wall created a throbbing base sound in your ears, your heart beat in sync with the beat of the song that was playing from inside that house.
“Do we knock or...” Jimin trailed off before the door slid wide open and a tipsy young man stood by it. “Welcome ladies, come on in” he said. You and Jimin looked at each other for confirmation before hesitantly taking a step forward. The young man stepped aside so that you could get through the door.
The place was dark, the only source of light being the neon special effects lighting coming from the DJ set. The rooms were packed with people, some of them already drunk, some of them dancing all over each other, the mixed odor of sweat, alcohol and weed making you dizzy. At that exact moment you reminded yourself that this was why you didn’t like parties.
You and Jimin stood there, eyes wandering all over the room, trying to take in the scenery in front of you. “Damn, this is so cool” Jimin breathed out.
The guy who opened the door a few seconds ago was nowhere to be seen. A girl was walking with her sunglasses on, when she bumped into Jimin and spilled a bit of her drink on the ground, a drop of it landing on Jimin’s shoe. A “sorry” was barely audible on top of the loud music and Jimin stood there looking at her shoe in disgust.
“I guess it’s not that cool” she said and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go get ourselves some drinks.”
You walked towards the kitchen which was a bit brighter compared to the other rooms. Bottles of different types of alcohol were lined up on the kitchen counter. Juice boxes, ice and plastic red cups were placed on the kitchen table. A group of boys were refilling their cups with their alcohol of choice, while a couple was making out up against the wall next to the fridge.
Jimin’s disgusted expression from earlier appeared again. You decided to ignore your surroundings and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a drink for you and Jimin.
“Where’s Yangyang?” Jimin asked
“I honestly have no idea. He said he’d text me once he gets here, but I’m a bit surprised he didn’t arrive earlier than us. He doesn’t miss on such things” you said and Jimin nodded.
“And Donghyuck?” she asked again
You put the bottle of alcohol down and grabbed a box of grapefruit juice. You shrugged. “ No idea either.”
Jimin smirked at your answer, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took her cup and guided you out of the kitchen towards the living room. “Come on, let’s dance” she said.
The music was blasting into your eardrums and your body caught the rhythm of the music, adjusting its muscles to move along to it. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your body was swaying to the fast-paced song that the DJ was playing when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.
[Hyuck]
where are you?
[Hyuck]
can’t see you
You lifted your head to look around the crowded living room in hopes of finding Donghyuck. It didn’t take you long before you could spot him among the crowd, though. You could never miss him anywhere, he always stood out in your eyes. Your gaze caught his, and his lips curved a bit when he saw you.
He tried to squeeze between the people dancing in the living room in order to get to your place. “What are you looking at?” Jimin asked you when she noticed that something bothered you.
You didn’t have time to answer her, because Donghyuck grabbed your arm to smoothly turn your body around and shift your attention to him. You felt a lump in your throat, your breath trapped inside your lungs. There he stood, messy hair falling onto his eyes, black graphic shirt and jeans, a Cuban link around his neck and matching rings on his fingers contrasting with the dark colors of his outfit. He looked gorgeous.
He flashed you a smile, raising his voice so that you could hear him. “Hi” he said. He simply said hi. Yet a group of butterflies started dancing in your stomach. You said it back.
Jimin got the message and leaned in your ear. “I think I saw some girls I know from one of my classes. I’d better leave you two” she said and turned on her heel to leave.
Donghyuck waved Jimin off and grabbed your hand. He then bent a bit lower and leaned in your ear. “Should we go somewhere quieter?” he asked you, his low voice vibrating in your ear. You could only nod.
Donghyuck walked in the front and you followed behind him, still holding his hand. He led you outside the house, towards the back yard. Plastic cups were scattered all over the grassy ground, two girls passed out beside some bushes, a guy sipping alcohol from a glass bottle and dancing on his own. Yeah, parties were weird.
You felt weirded out and uncomfortable at the sight and Donghyuck sensed it. He squeezed your hand and you looked up at him. He nodded to the large swing beside the barbecue stand and motioned you to go and sit there.
You sat down on the swing and Donghyuck copied your movement. He leaned his body towards the back so that it touched the back of the swing and with a swift motion, he pushed his feet on the ground and the swing started moving. You lifted your feet off the ground and let Donghyuck rock the swing smoothly.
You sat in silence for a moment, that comfortable silence that only existed when you were with Donghyuck, which was interrupted by his honey voice. “I don’t like parties” he simply said.
You turned to look at him but he was staring into the void in front of him. “ I have bad memories when it comes to parties” he said.
You didn’t speak. You didn’t want to. You always let him open up to you without interrupting his stream of thoughts.
Donghyuck drew in a sharp breath. “Remember that story I told you about that party? That one when I went home the next day and threw up all over the door? Yeah that one. I couldn’t bear going to something like this again when the last time I did, I didn’t even do it for myself. Did you know that I started drinking so that kids at my new school thought I was cool? That’s how I ended up spilling my guts all over my mother’s rug.”
He turned to look at you. “Pretty disgusting, huh?” he chuckled.
You chuckled too. You lowered your gaze to your feet. “Then why did you come here tonight?” you asked him.
“I don’t know” he said without even thinking about his answer. “I guess I came for my friends again.“ He paused for a second and spoke again “And I guess I also came to see you, mostly” he trailed off.
You stilled at his words and you thanked yourself for staring at your shoes and not looking at him, because he would be able to see the embarrassingly bright red color of your cheeks.
“But you see me everyday. We hang out all the time” you said.
“I know” he said. That’s all he said. What was that even supposed to mean?
Before you could speak, Donghyuck got up from the swing and extended his arm in front of you. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks, we both hate it, so why waste our time? Let’s leave. Me and you.” he said.
You looked up at him. “Hyuck,” you trailed off “as much as I hate this party and as much as I want to leave with you, I promised Jimin to keep her company” you really hated that you had to say this.
“Jimin has found other people to hang out with, she’ll be fine, I know it.” Donghyuck said, a glimpse of hope in the tone of his voice.
That glimpse vanished when you rejected his offer for the second time, the corners of his mouth dropping to a frown. “I’m sorry Hyuck, I can’t” you said.
Donghyuck nodded to himself and put his hands inside his pockets. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out a bit raspy and low. “It’s okay, I get it.”
Your heart shuttered upon seeing him like this. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you had also promised Jimin to be there for her since she wanted this so much. And you couldn’t let yourself break that promise, even though it was actually a bit trivial. Because in all honesty, Jimin would really be fine.
But also a small part of you was too flustered to spend time alone with Donghyuck at that moment. You felt as if you weren’t capable of controlling your emotions; your feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, and his presence alone was enough to make you feel overwhelmed with love.
The back door opened and someone came running through it. “Donghyuck, dude!” a guy you didn’t quite recognize yelled and came to grab Donghyuck by his arm. “You’re missing out on all the fuuuun my dude, come in back insideeee we’re gonna get fucking wasted!” the guy was yelling and patting Donghyuck on the back of his neck while dragging him inside the frat house.
Donghyuck said something you didn’t quite catch, and he tried to let go of the guy’s hold on him, but he failed to do so. The guy had already taken him to the back door and inside the house.
The door closed shut behind them and you left sitting on the swing by yourself, rocking it slightly with your feet. You shivered under the cool evening breeze and wrapped your arms around your body to shield yourself from the cold.
You didn’t want to go back inside. You promised Jimin to keep her company, but a frat party was the last place you wanted to be at, at that time. You grabbed your phone and, speaking of the devil, a few texts from Jimin appeared on your screen.
[Jiminie]
spotted yangyang. pretty sure he took a girl to a room
[Jiminie]
doesn’t he a gf?
You sighed reading Jimin’s texts. You really had to have a talk with Yangyang. And Jimin, for that matter. At least you knew that he was safe and that you probably won’t have to take care of him like a baby after you leave the party.
[you]
let him be, we’ll kick his ass tomorrow
[you]
where are you?
The text you wrote was delivered for the next 15 minutes. Jimin hadn’t read your message. All of a sudden, your hands became sweaty and your chest felt heavy as if a rock had fallen onto it.
Why didn’t she text me back?
Worry started welling up inside you and you rushed inside the house looking for your best friend. The music had got louder, the crowd was bigger, the smell of alcohol and weed more prominent. You went running up and down the stairs, kicking open every single door you found on your way.
Still, Jimin was nowhere to be found.
You stood at the edge of the stairway for a second to catch your breath. You opened your phone to call her and started walking towards the bathroom, the last room you didn’t check.
The phone was beeping in your ear, but Jimin didn’t pick up. You exhaled sharply and opened the bathroom door, still holding the phone in your ear. The sweat on your palms and the rock on your chest magically disappeared when you saw Jimin kneeling in front of the toilet with an arm holding her hair back out of her face.
A sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stopped the phone call. “Thank god you’re safe. I was so freaked out you bitch” you said and crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?” you asked her.
Jimin nodded and let her hair fall down her shoulders. She wiped her lips with the back of her palm before she spoke. “I’m okay. I had a bit too much alcohol and I threw up. But I feel better now. Sorry for making you worried” she said.
You opened your arms and she fell into your embrace. You stroked her head lightly, as you could feel her warm tears wetting the fabric of your shirt on your shoulder. She promised not to drink too much, but your gut somehow knew you’d better stay there at the party because something like this would be inevitable. “It's okay Jiminie, I was the one who left you alone, I promised to keep you company” you said.
She pulled back from the hug. “I guess we both broke each other’s promise” she chuckled and you did the same.
Jimin sniffled and wiped her already dry tears. “Why are you alone? Where is Donghyuck?” she asked you.
“We were sitting outside but then a random guy came and dragged him back inside. He seemed pretty wasted” you replied.
Jimin’s eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh no, oh no no no” she said.
You stood up too. “What? Jimin, what's wrong?” you asked her curiously.
“If it's the guy I think it is, then Donghyuck might be stupid drunk right now, or even worse, under the influence. We need to find him. Now” she said and ran out the bathroom and down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while doing so.
You followed right after her, the rock falling on your chest again. You hated parties. This was final. Things like this are unavoidable in parties, and you hated the fact that your friends had to go through shit every single time.
The music wasn’t as loud as earlier and the living room didn’t feel as crowded. Most of the people were gathered outside in the backyard, or were already passed out on the beds or the floors of the bedrooms.
You and Jimin spotted a group of people gathered in a circle in the middle of the living room. Everybody was sitting on the carpeted floor, bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere around them. You noticed that a guy was holding a blunt and kept rotating it to every person gathered in that circle. Oh no.
Their voices were mixed in with the music coming from the DJ set, so all you could see was their mouths moving without saying anything meaningful. The smoke of the blunt made the living room foggy and your lungs were struggling to work properly in between the crowded room.
The stinging sensation in your eyes caused by the smoke and flashing lights made your eyes watery and you could not tell apart any face in the crowd, except for Jimin who was standing next to you.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Jimin whispered.
You rubbed your eyes in order to clear your vision without even caring if this would ruin your makeup. The faces on the people sitting on the floor became clearer, and it didn’t take you long before you spotted the familiar chocolate eyes looking drowsy, honey fingers placing the blunt in between soft plump lips.
A girl passed Donghyuck the blunt and he took a long and slow drag from it, exhaling the smoke into the thick air creating smoke rings. He then gave the blunt to the person next to him and he leaned back supporting his body with his elbows.
Donghyuck was wasted. Whatever that guy did to him in such a little time got to him immediately. His chocolate eyes were drowned in a pool of red, his hair looking messier than before and his clothes were all wrinkled.
You stood there frozen looking at him. If you had tried to keep him away from that guy, he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. He had told you that he was pressured by other people to do stuff he didn’t want to do, but was he that naive to let this happen to himself once again? How many times has that even happened before?
Your thoughts had carried you away, your vision was blurry again and your ears had blocked away all the sounds. An arm slung around your shoulders and you jolted up at the sudden touch.
“Where have you been bestie? You came rrright at the perfect time. We’re playing spin the bottle” Yangnyang said drowsily, his eyes painted in the same red shade as Donghyuck’s.
“Oh you’re here too, come on, sit down” he said to Jimin and dragged us both to the circle on the floor. He used both his arms and his full force to sit us down next to each other, and then he got up to sit across from us where he was previously sitting.
The girl to your left offered you the blunt but you rejected it without a second thought. Everyone was either stupid high or stupid drunk, some of them were both. You were suffocating. You felt like a total stranger there, even the existence of your own body was making you anxious.
You turned to Jimin on your right. “We need to go home” you mouthed and she kept nodding to herself constantly.
Your eyes roamed around the small circle, trying to find a way to get up and leave. But before you could do that, the chocolate pair of eyes that was now drowned in deep red, locked in with yours. A sense of déjà vu ran through your entire body, shivering under his gaze. This cannot happen again.
Jimin took your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. She was uncomfortable and so were you. You tried to get up and leave, but the girl next to you dragged you back down.
A guy gulped down an entire bottle of alcohol before he put it down in the middle of the circle. You didn’t even bother to look at what type of alcohol it was.
Yangyang moved in closer to the middle and grabbed the bottle. “Alright, I'll go first!” he shouted and with a swift motion, he spun the bottle fast.
The bottle was spinning at a rapid speed until it came to a stop, its two ends pointing on two people you didn’t know. Apparently, you were the only one who didn’t know them because everyone else was super excited for their kiss. Or at least they were too high to understand what they were doing.
The bottle spun again. And again. And again. You lost count of how many rounds you were in, the same way your eyes were lost in Donghyuck’s. You kept him under your gaze, watching his every move and trying to justify the way he was acting. You had never seen him like this, so out of himself. What happened to the boy you saw a couple hours ago? The boy you knew ever since you were five? It felt as if he had almost lost whatever it was that made him different from the others. Right now, he looked like every other frat boy in that house.
But he didn’t really look at you. In fact, his mind seemed to be roaming around, not really paying attention to any of his surroundings except for when someone would pass him the blunt.
The bottle kept spinning and almost everyone had kissed someone else at this point. Yangyang took his fair share of the game as he kept on kissing a different girl in almost every single round.
Jimin squeezed your hand again and you realized how uncomfortable she might have felt. This time, you wouldn’t let any of the others stop you from leaving. Your friend wasn’t feeling well, but so were you. So you let go of Jimin’s hand and stood up, ready to leave.
As if fate was against you, you heard a burst of cheers and whistles coming from everyone gathered in the room. You regretted not leaving sooner, because the one end of the bottle was pointing at your side. And the other end was pointing at Donghyuck.
Cold sweat ran down your temples and a tight knot appeared in your stomach. This can’t be. You froze there standing still, staring at the bottle on your feet. You lifted your gaze from your feet to meet Donghyuck’s, who was staring back at you with a smug expression painting his face. From the corner of your eye, you could spot Yangyang grinning like a madman, his entire dentition on full display.
As if he did it on purpose, Donghyuck took a long drag of the blunt before standing up too so that his eyes leveled yours. The smugness on his face never left his features, his drowsy red eyes pouring into yours.
He slowly walked towards you, stopping right in front of your standing figure. His face was now way too close to yours. You could smell the alcohol and God knows what else on his breath, the heat of his body radiating to yours.
Donghyuck parted his lips and your breath got caught in your throat. His body somehow got even closer to yours. He tilted his head to the side and leaned against your ear. His hot breath was fanning over your ear, his lips softly grazing your skin. With a voice hoarse and low, he spoke loud enough for you to barely hear him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve done this before.”
You hadn’t even noticed which end of the bottle was pointing at you, but Donghyuck took the initiative himself and smacked his plump lips onto yours. His touch caught you off guard. You were standing there doing nothing, while Donghyuck placed both of his hands on the sides of your neck, his lips moving aggressively yet smoothly on top of yours.
You waited for him to pull away so that you could leave the party as soon as possible, but his intentions seemed to be different. He bit on your bottom lip in an attempt to part your lips so that you could kiss him back. You hated to admit it to yourself but it definitely worked. You parted your mouth just enough and moved your lips in sync with his smooth plump ones, the taste of alcohol from his lips transfering to yours.
The knot on your stomach kept on tightening more and more with each second passing. Your pulse rate had reached an infinite number of beats per minute and you were sure that your legs would not be able to hold you for much longer.
As if Donghyuck read your mind, he pulled away after leaving a last soft peck on your lips, removing his hands from the sides of your neck. He pulled back smirking at you as you were still standing frozen, your lips still feeling numb and swollen..
You had blocked away everyone else that was around you. You couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. Your brain was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.
With a quick snap back to reality, you grabbed Jimin’s hand and turned your back to everyone else, storming off through the door of the frat house.
The night of the party you slept over at Jimin’s dorm. As soon as you exited the frat house, you went straight to Jimin’s car and you offered to drive since Jimin wasn’t in the right place to drive. She was still feeling unwell after she threw up all the alcohol she had consumed previously the same night, so you wanted to make sure she would be fine. But honestly, you weren’t feeling well either, and it wasn’t because you had drank.
Your mind kept replaying the moment Donghyuck kissed you like a video on loop. You were suddenly fifteen again, playing a silly game of spin the bottle with your friends where you happened to kiss your silly little crush. But now it happened again. And it wasn’t a silly game or a silly crush anymore.
Why was Donghyuck so complicating? All those times you hung out together, you never noticed him having any romantic intentions towards you. Everything he did or said was purely in the terms of friendship. But the way he approached you, touched you and kissed you at the party told you otherwise. Were you that blind not to notice his intentions?
You tried to excuse his behavior, saying that he was high or drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Which is not necessarily a lie. It wasn’t his fault that he got peer pressured into drinking and behaving like one of the frat boys. He is the complete opposite of a troublemaker and ill-intended person; no wonder people found it so easy to talk him into things.
Plus, it was only just a game. He sure didn’t think of it as something much of a big deal, so why would you give it so much importance?
You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like this, because Jimin, who was already fast asleep, would yell at you for excusing Donghyuck’s behavior. He’s not a kid, he’s a grown-up, he knows what he’s doing, she would say. You had to wait until the morning to hear her scolding. The thing is, she wouldn’t be completely wrong about this.
During the thunderstorm of thoughts pouring inside your brain, a bold lightning struck in between. What if you confessed to him? Your heart couldn’t bear hiding what it felt for any longer. At that moment, you didn’t care if it would ruin your relationship with Donghyuck. He has acted recklessly enough quite a few times now, so you were allowed to be reckless for once too. He had to know how you felt, because this is what would make you feel at ease with yourself. He can’t find it so easy to kiss you in a drunk game and not feel anything either. After the spark that lit up with the touch of your lips and the butterflies that danced around the knot in your stomach, you knew you had to tell him. But the problem was that you didn’t know how to do it.
For the meantime, you had curled up in Jimin’s bed hugging yourself tightly, crying your eyes out until sweet sleep brushed over them and closed them shut.
The morning of the next day you and Jimin went out to grab breakfast together. She was still feeling a bit weird because of last night’s events, but she said that a plate of chocolate chip pancakes would cure her hangover.
You were fiddling with your fork, scraping it at the surface of the plate, a screeching noise coming from it. Jimin visibly shivered at the sound and you stopped it.
“So,” Jimin began, swallowing a big piece of the pancakes, “wanna talk about last night?” she asked.
You put your fork down and sat back, crossing your arms. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Everything is so confusing” you answered.
“Um, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it” Jimin said. She drank a full glass of water and then set it down on the table with a thud. It was so loud, you thought that the table might have broken.
“Donghyuck literally kissed you and we’re gonna completely ignore that? Come on Y/n, we cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Well, at least you cannot pretend it didn’t happen” Jimin said.
“Drop it Jimin, he was drunk, or high, or whatever.”
“No he was not. Well he was, but not that much. He knew what he was doing. Look, Y/n, Donghyuck has been a great friend to you and I know how much you love him for that. But when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship, he’s been nothing but an ass.”
You sighed and didn’t say anything in return. Jimin was right. He really was an ass when it came to romantic relationships. But you couldn’t ignore your feelings. You knew the way you felt when he touched you, when he leaned close to your ear and whispered to you, when his lips danced with yours.
The question is, did he feel the same?
You broke the silence by speaking up. “I think I’m gonna confess to him” you said.
Jimin almost choked on her food. She started coughing and you immediately got up and patted her on her back to prevent any accidents. You filled in her glass with water and helped her drink a bit.
“You what?!” Jimin practically screamed and you were thankful that the restaurant was not full that morning.
“I thought about it last night and I can’t keep suppressing my feelings, But I don’t know how to do it and I still think that Donghyuck might not like me back, hell, he only sees my as a friend, but at the same time I felt it when he kissed me, it felt different than the first time he did it back at that goodbye party before high school and God I hate parties becau-“
“Hey hey hey! Calm down bestie” Jimin interrupted you. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you went on an auto-rant mode until after Jimin spoke.
“It’s okay, I know it’s hard to do it. But if you finally feel confident enough to tell him, you should do it. We’ll think of a way to do that, together.” Jimin reassured you and you nodded to yourself.
Speaking of the devil, your phone screen lit up and a ting sound echoed in the room. You picked it up, only to see a text from Donghyuck.
[Hyuck]
see you at the park later?
You sighed again and made a mental note to text him back in a minute when you would have calmed down from your previous outbreak.
You really had to tell him, and you had to do it soon.
Despite your initial denial, you agreed to meet Donghyuck later that day at the park, at your usual spot. You were contemplating whether to meet him or not, because even though you wanted to confess, your anxiety and fear of a bad outcome got the best of you.
You didn’t mind if you got rejected. You really didn’t care at all. At that moment, you just wanted to get it out of your chest. A few weeks ago, you would be dreading the possibility of Donghyuck rejecting your feelings and ruining your friendship. But right now you had none of that in mind.
You rode your bike on the way to the park in order to clear your mind with some fresh air. The sun had almost set and the park was becoming emptier. You spotted Donghyuck sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree trunk. He had rode there on his bike too.
You went up to him and he only noticed your presence until after you sat down beside him. He turned his head to your side and he flushed you one of his precious bright smiles, the one that always made your heart skip a bit.
You didn’t want to lie to yourself, but your confidence from earlier magically vanished the moment you saw his face.
“How have you been? It was a mess last night” you spoke first and his smile dropped at the sound of your voice, his plump lips forming a soft frown, eyes falling down to his lap.
“Don’t remind me of that” Donghyuck said. He paused for a second before he spoke again. “I actually wanted to apologize for that. For whatever happened. I clearly didn’t mean anything I did or said, so if I did anything bad or weird, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away, but guess what! I did nothing but that. I’m sorry.”
You waited for him to finish with what he wanted to say before you said anything else. You went closer to him and rubbed his back in sympathy.
It took you a while to take in everything he said. What did he mean by “I didn’t mean anything I said or did”? Did he regret kissing you? Didn’t he feel the same spark, the same tingle, the same knot in his stomach?
You tried to push these thoughts away and focus on your feelings. It was time you put your feelings first, or rather, yourself. Your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing into your cheeks, as you gathered all your confidence and courage before you spoke up.
“Donghyuck?” you said in a soft, quiet voice, barely above a whisper. Donghyuck lifted his head, his chocolate eyes diving deep into yours, his skin glimmering under the moonlight like frozen honey.
That’s when your voice got stuck in your throat, and you stood there staring at him and he was staring back at you. “Wanna go on a ride with our bikes? To clear our minds?” you said.
He nodded and his plump lips curved upwards, his eyes creasing a bit on the sides. This is not what you wanted to say, but at least you said something.
You wanted to say so much more. So many things occupied the back of your head, you wanted to scream at him for giving you all these mixed signals, you wanted to scold him for acting so immature, you wanted to hug him and tell him that he’s too good for this world, you wanted to feel his touch and warmth on your body. But you did nothing for it.
You had to think of a way to confess to him without having to say any words. Otherwise, you would fuck up. Or you wouldn’t be able to do it at all, and you would be left with the burden upon your chest.
In the meantime, you were reminded how beautiful you felt every time you were with him. You relaxed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you frowned, you were stressed and then you were not. There was only one boy in all the world that could wake up every single emotion inside you and that boy was none other than Lee Donghyuck.
You still quite couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him so different from the other boys. Maybe the fact that he was just a guy, like everyone else, but he seemed so gorgeous in your eyes. Maybe it was because you knew him in a way no one else did. That’s why you felt the need to share your feelings with him, because no matter what, you somehow knew that he would always love you back, even as just a friend.
You were still mad at him for acting this way. But you could not completely ignore the person you knew because of one reckless incident. You knew Donghyuck very well, and you knew that he was better than this. You weren’t in the right mood to confront him after seeing how bad he felt with himself, so you chose to put whatever happened at the party towards the back of your head for a while and enjoy your time with him.
There is always the right time for everything.
“Aeri broke up with me” Yangyang announced, with a frown on his face that could reach the floor.
“She did? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You shouldn’t be either” you said.
“But why?” Yangyang whined.
“Are you serious right now?” Jimin spoke up “You literally hook up with every other girl, plus, you never gave her any attention! And you have the audacity to cry about it.”
You were walking on campus, heading towards your respective classes. It had been two days since the frat party, and Yangyang’s girlfriend found out about his doings and she finally snapped.
Donghyuck caught up to you and joined the conversation. “Oof, I found you guys, I was looking for you everywhere. Wait what happened?” he asked as soon as he noticed Yangyang’s frown in his expression.
“Aeri happened” you said.
“Who's Aeri?” Donghyuck asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
Jimin was the one to speak up this time. “Yangyang’s girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend. It took her a bit long to come to her senses but I’m happy she finally did.” She turned to Yangyang and slapped him in the back of his head. “See, you never even mentioned her name, you idiot! You’re gross, honestly” Jimin said with a disgusted expression.
Donghyuck smiled slightly at Jimin’s comment, but none of them saw him but you. Was it just your idea or did he look extra fine today?
Jimin walked to your side and linked her arm with yours. “Now if you will excuse us boys, we have to talk about girl things, mhm?” Jimin said and dragged you away from them, leaving them walking behind you.
“So, I thought of the perfect idea” Jimin whispered, lowering her head.
“About what?” you asked.
“You will make a quiz and send it to him” Jimin said. You stopped at your track to take in what she just said. “What?”
“You want to confess to Donghyuck, right? So I did some research and came across this quiz that you supposedly send to your crush and then they have to respond and send it back to you I guess. What do you think?” Jimin said.
“It sounds childish. Yeah I don’t think it will work” you said.
“But why? Let’s give it a try. Please” Jimin whined and you couldn’t do anything but agree with her. “Okay, listen. I’ll see what I’ll do. If I feel confident enough to send it to him then we’re good, otherwise we’ll have to think of something else” you said.
Jimin screeched and hugged you tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god, I really think it will work. Plus, it’s not gonna be a face to face confession so don’t be nervous about it. You got this. I’ll meet you later after classes to work on it. Love you bestie!” Jimin said and ran off to her class, leaving you walking on your own in the campus.
Maybe her idea wasn’t that bad after all. This couldn’t go too wrong, right?
Later that day you met Jimin at your favorite café. You found her sitting at your usual table, scrolling on her phone.
Yangyang decided to tag along this time too. You bumped into him on your way out of campus and invited him for coffee too. You didn’t tell Jimin about it, but you were sure she wouldn’t mind.
You sat down next to her, and Yangyang went for the seat on the other side of the table, taking out his phone.
“Let’s start, take out your laptop” Jimin said and you did so. You opened an empty form sheet and stared at the cursor appearing and disappearing on the screen. “Well, how do I start?” you asked.
Jimin took the lead and turned the laptop to her side so that she could type on the keyboard easier. “So, we'll start with his name. Write something like, ‘Hi Donghyuck, if you’re receiving this it’s because I have a big fat crush on you and I don’t know how to tell you-‘”
“Shhhh,” you interrupted her “don’t say his name” you whisper shouted.
Yangyang raised his head from his phone screen and joined the conversation. “Don’t worry about it bestie, it’s not as if we don’t know about it. It’s so obvious that you like Hyuck to the point it hurts my eyes every time I see you looking at him. Can’t you be more discreet about it? What the fuck are you two even doing by the way?”
You were left speechless and kept blinking, staring at Yangyang. Of course he would figure it out, he’s been your best friend since you were literally babies. You shouldn’t be surprised by this.
“We’re making a confession quiz to help Y/n tell Donghyuck that she likes him. I saw it online and apparently it works wonders” Jimin said.
Yangyang stayed silent for a few seconds before he started laughing hysterically. You and Jimin looked at each other and then back at Yangyang, waiting for him to stop with his laughing outburst.
You waited until he finally caught his breath, wiping a tear that slipped from the corner of his eye with his finger. “You guys are seriously so funny” he said.
“What's so funny about it, Yangyang? Hm?” Jimin asked him.
“I just find it such a stupid idea. Don’t you think it’s a bit childish? It won’t work” he said.
“That's what I thought too, but I’m gonna give it a try” you said.
“Okay, whatever” Yangyang said and went back to scrolling on his phone.
“Don’t give him any notice, Y/n. Let’s move on” Jimin said and started typing on the keyboard.
“So, we'll start with questions such as ‘Did you know that I liked you?’ and ‘If yes, then how did you know?’ and then ‘Do you like me back?’ and stuff” Jimin spoke while typing at the same time.
“Wait Jimin, don’t you think these are a bit too straightforward?” you asked. Jimin stopped typing and looked at you dead in the eye. “Are you kidding me? This is how a confession works, hello?” Jimin answered, full of irony. Through the corner of your eye, you saw Yangyang scoffing.
“Okay so next,” Jimin started typing again “you need to ask him the important stuff, which is what he thinks of you. And that includes what his first impression of you was, how attractive he finds you and how much he likes your personality.”
“How about we ask him something like ‘Is this awkward?’ because trust me, it probably is” you were the one who suggested a question this time.
Jimin wasn’t entirely sure if you were joking or not, be she agreed and typed it after the previous one. “Now, let’s end it with a precious moment between the two of you. One that he remembers, it might be anything” Jimin said.
She typed fast, her fingers running on top of the keyboard. Her eyes never left the screen, following the letters without even peaking at the keyboard to see what she was typing. She then pressed the enter key with all her strength and sat back on her chair. “And we’re done. It’s sent” she said.
The moment she said that the quiz was sent, you started trembling. You didn’t feel nervous up until that point. What if everything went downhill after this? It’s just a stupid quiz, you thought. Sure, the quiz was stupid, but your crush wasn’t. You were worried that once Dongyuck sees the quiz, he’ll start seeing you differently. You were only hoping that this differently didn’t mean negative, because if it did, your entire relationship with him would change. And you didn’t want to lose such an important person in your life over a not-so-stupid crush.
You didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the next day. You were sure about it because ever since Jimin sent him the confession quiz, he hasn’t left your mind. You kept looking for him everywhere but not because you wanted to see him. It was rather the opposite. You knew that if you saw his face after knowing that you had confessed to him, you wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. You avoided him.
You had to thank him, though, for making your job easier. Not a single sight of him on campus for the entire day. Good news.
But the bad news was that he didn’t text you throughout the day at all, which was odd. He would usually ask to meet at the park, or just text you about not anything of importance. But there was no sign of him that day.
A lot of thoughts formed in your mind at the same time. In the worst case scenario, there was something wrong with him. In the best case scenario, he felt way too awkward because of the confession quiz and he didn’t want to do anything with you. You couldn’t explain how this was the best case scenario, but you were worried sick about him. So you hoped for the latter.
You didn’t want to text him or call him though. You wanted to avoid him, right? Your current behavior didn’t match the confidence you had a couple days ago. It felt like you were more intimate with him now, you had exposed a piece of your inner self and you were scared that your actions would make him feel uncomfortable.
Yet, you decided to give him time. You wanted to wait for his response. Whatever it would be. You thought that your confession would help you ease your mind, but you’ve been thinking about him even more now. What if he didn’t feel the same? Of course, you would respect his feelings. You can’t force people to like you, or love you. But deep down, you knew it would hurt. You would still continue to love him even if he didn’t love you back. You cannot turn on and off feelings like a light switch. Loving him took a long time and getting over him would take even longer. You didn’t want to get over him. You probably couldn’t. So you wanted to keep loving him and hoped that maybe, there was a slight chance that he would love you back.
However, you didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the day after that either. But this time, you didn’t know if it was because you were avoiding him or because he just didn’t come to any of his classes.
Worry washed over you when neither Yangyang or Jimin had heard of him. “I thought he would be talking with you” Yangyang told you. Yeah, you thought the same thing.
After your classes ended for the day, you decided to go by his dorm and see him in person. You still felt like avoiding him but you didn’t have another choice at this point. You wanted to see him.
You put on your earphones and let the music keep you company while walking. Your heart rate was slowly increasing with each step you took, but you couldn’t explain if it was because you felt anxious or because your heart followed the beat of the music.
After listening to a couple of songs, you found yourself standing right outside Donghyuck’s dorm door. Taking off your earphones, you stood there still, waiting. You raised your arm hesitantly, knuckles touching the wooden surface of the door. You slightly pulled your hand away from the door and then your knuckles touched the door again.
Knock. Knock.
You drew a step back, arm falling to your side. And you waited.
One, two, three, four, five, si-
Donghyuck appeared behind the door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair messy and eyes droopy.
“Hi, um, sorry d-did I wake you up?” you said.
“Um, no it’s fine, uh, is there something wrong?” Donghyuck said, rubbing his eye with his fingers.
And then you noticed the flush color painting his cheeks and the way he kept his eyes on the ground, not trying to maintain eye contact.
“I was just worried, you know? We haven’t seen you in two days and I just wanted to see if you-“
“I’m fine Y/n, there’s nothing to worry about, now please, I was in the middle of something so, uh, I’ll see you later, bye” Donghyuck interrupted you and closed the door right in your face, without even sparing you a glance.
What was this all about? Why was he acting like this?
You blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes and walked away.
“Girl, you’re not the one avoiding him, he’s the one avoiding you!” Jimin said, munching on a cheeseburger.
She swallowed her bite and spoke again. “What I think is, he’s in love with you too, but he’s an even bigger coward than I thought he was. I believe he got so flustered by the quiz we sent him, but don’t worry, he’ll come to his senses sooner or later.”
You rested your head on your palm and sighed heavily. “I don’t know Jiminie, his behavior is so confusing lately. I kinda regret sending him that quiz”.
“Uh oh, don’t say that again. You confessed and well done for that, so now it’s up to him to decide how the relationship between you two will go. Don’t blame yourself for how a man thinks. You never know what goes on inside those pea sized brains of theirs” Jimin said.
“So you say that he’s ignoring me because he likes me back?” you asked, a question which was addressed more to yourself.
“That's exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said. “I mean, he couldn’t even look at you and his cheeks were all blushy and stuff? Girl, do we see the same things? Because this clearly shows he has lost his shit over you.”
You remained silent for a while, leaving Jimin to eat her cheeseburger in peace and allowing yourself to sort all of your thoughts that were scrambled inside your mind. Maybe she was right. Again. Her intuition regarding people’s feelings and behaviors is remarkable. She always left you wondering how she could be so good at reading other people.
You thought you were good at it too, until this boy named Lee Donghyuck came into your life. It wasn't that hard to understand him as a little boy, but now that you’re all adults, it seems like he has built walls around his heart and it’s not easy to read him anymore. The problem was that you didn’t know why he did this. He used to allow himself to be open and vulnerable with you. At least you thought so.
Now you are left wondering what’s in his mind and what is it that makes him act this way. Was the quiz that awkward? Did he see you in a different way now?
Questions like this kept messing with you and you wished you could unsend that quiz if it were to prevent this outcome. But you decided to give him a little bit more time. You were friends after all, right? Friends always come back to each other, no matter what. Right?
The next couple of days Donghyuck had been ignoring you still. Jimin said there was no point in feeling sad about it and that he would just snap one moment and realize what an asshole he was.
You hadn’t told Yangyang about any of that. He had mentioned the quiz once, asking you something like how you made it and what you wrote exactly, but nothing more specific about Donghyuck. So you decided to let it go, he wouldn’t understand anyway.
You were sitting at the park alone, leaning against a tree while watching the sun slowly hiding behind the hill, waiting for the moon to rise and take its place in the sky. The cheerful screams of little kids were gradually fading away and the park was becoming quieter, the only sound interrupting the silence from time to time was the barking of dogs.
You felt peaceful. You found a moment in time to have for yourself, a small escape from all of last week’s dramatic events. You breathed in the fresh air, you let your body relax and your mind roam around the scenery of nature in front of you.
This inner serenity didn’t last long though. Your phone chimed in your pocket and the screen lit up, the intense brightness hurting your eyes due to the contrast with the now darker sky.
You lowered the brightness in order to take a better look at the text on your screen. You squinted your eyes a bit further, this time not because of the brightness.
[Hyuck]
i really need to talk to you
it’s important
you know where to find me
i’m at your favorite place
You kept rereading Donghyuck’s texts over and over. So he ignores me for days and now all of a sudden he wants us to meet and he puzzles me with a riddle? What the hell?
You turned off your phone and stared blankly in front of you, trying to think of what place Donghyuck was talking about. You didn’t even care about what he wanted to tell you. You had to find him first.
The gears inside your brain got to work, spinning quickly and digging through your memories to help you find the answer. But you were already in your favorite place. The park. At least it was your favorite at the moment. So if he were at the park, where could he be? You would be able to see him by now.
The gears in your brain suddenly stopped moving and the light bulb shone brightly above your head. You knew exactly where he was. And it wasn’t the park. You grabbed your things quickly and rushed out of the park, heading towards the place you could never imagine that you’ll ever see again.
You had been walking for only ten minutes and your legs were hurting and started feeling wobbly. The one time you actually needed your bike, you didn’t have it. A sigh left your lips and you continued walking, looking at your phone from time to time in case Donghyuck texted you something else or called you.
You could tell that you were almost there by the red and gold lighting attacking your eyes, contrasting with the darkness of your surroundings. You squinted your eyes as a reaction to the sudden appearance of light, walking towards the source of red and gold. The smell of butter popcorn lured you in and that’s how you knew you were at the exact place you needed to be.
You stood under the bright sign, the same white balloons climbing up the pillars on each side of the gate, confetti sprinkled and glued in between them, fairy lights trailing upwards to the glowing sign. ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.
You stood in awe. You never thought you would visit this place again. It's been years since the last time you visited the amusement park and it felt strange yet so familiar sitting there, looking at the place that felt like your childhood home.
Your eyes were roaming around and you just stood still, not moving a single step further. For a moment, you had forgotten the reason why you were there in the first place.
The scent of the familiar cologne was roaming in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. Donghyuck cleared his throat and you turned around to face him.
He looked beautiful. The lights of the amusement park were reflecting in his eyes, his hair fell softly covering his forehead, his plump lips curved upwards to a smile.
You noticed that he held his arms behind his back, but you didn’t question it. You just stared right into his eyes, just like he stared into yours. “Hi” he said, his voice blurred among the music and random screams from little kids running around the amusement park.
“Hi” you greeted him back, and then both of you remained silent, looking at each other. Your eyes started stinging from keeping them open for a long time, so you lowered your gaze to your feet.
Donghyuck sensed the awkwardness and cleared his throat again before he spoke up. “I’m sorry, Y/n” he said.
Your head jolted up at the sound of his honey voice and your gaze locked in with his. You parted your lips to speak, but he beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I know my behavior was shit. I was an asshole. I was ignoring you when I shouldn’t. I’m surprised that you came to see me after the way I treated you. So thank you" he said.
You didn’t want to speak. You didn’t have the courage to do so, but you also didn’t know what to tell him. Instead, you waited for him to continue talking.
Donghyuck’s gaze shifted from your eyes to other places around him and he pursed his lips. “You know, I received that quiz you sent me” he trailed off.
You gulped at the mention of the quiz and suddenly your heartbeat picked up a pace so fast that was probably beyond human.
“I didn’t-” Donghyuck started, “I didn’t send it back to you because I wanted to answer it now, with you here” he said.
You found yourself incapable of speaking at that moment. You simply nodded and diverted your gaze back to your feet.
“Please look at me Y/n” Donghyuck said and you froze, slowly lifting your head to see him looking directly at you. You could tell he was nervous by the way he inhaled sharply and the soft red color that painted his cheeks.
“I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” he started, “so when I saw that quiz I was so troubled. Maybe you were obvious with it, maybe not, but what’s certain is that I was too nervous around you to even notice anything.”
You tried to process his words and come to a conclusion. Everything that came out of his mouth didn’t make sense to you. Why would he be nervous around me?
Donghyuck gulped and continued. “Do you remember how we met?” he asked, but the question was mostly addressed to himself rather than you. You smiled at the memory. How could you forget such a pretty boy?
“It was here, this exact place. We were both running, we bumped into each other, fell down and then dropped your cotton candy” he said and started laughing. You did the same.
“And then we became friends. Inseparable friends. You have always been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. You are kind, funny, you make me feel comfortable, you’re always there for me even though I behave so shitty sometimes” he said.
“And you’re so beautiful. I find myself staring at you when you’re looking away and I just ask myself how can a person be this beautiful” he said, his voice getting gradually quieter, just a little bit louder than a whisper.
“Do you know why I stopped contacting you when I left?” Donghyuck asked, this time the question addressed to you.
You cleared your throat before speaking, voice barely audible. “No.” It was the first time you spoke after greeting him.
Donghyuck shifted a bit, balancing his weight on one leg. “Because I liked you so much I couldn’t bear talking to you, knowing that I wasn’t able to see you, touch you and tell you how much I missed you” he said. “I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you again, maybe it would hurt less than it did.”
You felt your lips drying, eyes widening upon hearing these words. This can’t be real. Yes, you wanted him to like you back, but you never expected it to be true. Even if you believed in a slight chance that he might like you back, it never occurred to you that it might actually be true.
“Hyuck, what are you talking about?” you asked him, not believing a single word he was saying.
“I’m talking about how much I like you, Y/n. Fuck, I might even be in love with you. I don’t know, I always get this weird feeling around you and I can’t get it to stop! I keep thinking about you and how I want to be able to kiss you without finding excuses with these stupid spin the bottle games! I like you so fucking much Y/n, I don’t know how to act.”
You stood still, frozen. So this is really happening, you thought. All this time you were worried about your feelings for Donghyuck when he was feeling the exact same way towards you. Your heart fluttered to the sound of his confession and you felt like smiling so hard until your cheeks hurt.
“Please say something Y/n” Donghyuck whispered. You didn’t say anything though. You didn’t have to. Instead, you took a couple steps further and stood right in front of him, placing your hands on each side of his neck, smacking your lips onto his.
He responded immediately, parting his lips slightly to kiss you back. He removed one arm from behind his back to cup your cheek with his hand and he kissed you gently and genuinely.
The knot in your stomach was untied, releasing the butterflies it had been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s plump lips moved in sync with yours, his soft touch on your cheek sending streaks of warmth down your entire body.
You slowly pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him in his eyes, both of you smiling as hard as ever. “Of course I like you too, dumbass. I’ve liked you ever since I met you.” You said and Donghyuck smiled even harder than before, if it was even possible.
You removed your hands from his neck, dropping them to your side. “What is behind your back?” you asked him eagerly.
Donghyuck dropped his hand from your cheek too and brought his other arm from behind his back, only to reveal a stick of fluffy pink cotton candy.
Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the last thing you expected to see.
“You know, I promised to buy you one because I had dropped it when we bumped into each other, but I never had the chance to do that, so...” Dongyuck said and you slammed your body into his arms, grinning hard and laughing.
You squeezed him tightly and he returned your embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head finding its way to rest in the crook of your neck.
“I think I love you, Donghyuck” you softly said in his ear.
Donghyuck’s grip on you tightened more and he breathed in. “Y/n, I know I love you” he said, just loud enough so that you and only you could hear him.
Donghyuck pulled back slightly so that he could see your face. He was still holding you tightly, as if he physically couldn’t let you go. As you were lost in the pool of honey in his eyes, he spoke with a low voice. “Do you think you’ll finally be able to beat me in bumper cars?” he said.
You laughed at his question and his smile grew wider to the sound. “No, you’re too slow. I actually pity you” you said.
Donghyuck poked the inside on his cheek with his tongue and raised his eyebrow at your answer. “Oh yeah? Let’s find out, bitchass” he said and linked his fingers with yours to guide you to the amusement park.
Just like that, your heart was full. It was right at the place it needed to be from the very beginning. It was finally home.
The doorbell chimed behind you and a chill breeze entered the inside of the diner for a brief second. You didn’t have to turn your head to realize that a group of high school kids entered the diner, their voices were too loud and annoying. You rolled your eyes and popped a french fry into your mouth.
It’s been about two weeks since you and Donghyuck made it official. You agreed to start a relationship that very night you confessed to each other outside the amusement park. Donghyuck only agreed to go out with you if he won three consecutive races at the bumper cars ride. Turns out you ended up crashing his car in every single round, but Donghyuck kept on saying that he didn’t really mean what he said and kissed you into agreeing to go on another date with him.
You were happy. Ever since you started dating, you found yourself enjoying the time you spent with Donghyuck even more than you did before. It’s not that many things changed, it was mostly the same things you used to do. The only difference was that neither of you was afraid to express their true feelings anymore.
You and Donghyuck were sitting next to each other at the diner booth. Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, while he used his other arm to grab french fries from the bowl on your table. You agreed to buy just one bowl of french fries to ease your appetite before you ordered your actual meals.
Donghyuck was talking to you about the drive-in cinema that will start working again next week. He said that they would be playing one of his favorite movies, so he practically begged you to go with him and treat it as a date as well.
“What are you guys talking about?” you heard Jimin’s voice and you looked up to see that she had just arrived with Yangyang standing there next to her.
“Oh hey guys, we didn’t hear you entering. I was telling Y/n about the drive-in, it’ll be open again next week. Wanna go-wait-” Donghyuck started saying, but he cut himself off when he noticed that Yangyang was holding Jimin’s hand.
“Dude what?” Donghyuck asked again and you sat there staring at your friends with eyes wide open. Jimin and Yangyang were grinning at your and Donghyuck’s reactions, before they went to sit on the booth opposite of yours.
“Yup, it is exactly what you think it is. Now, what were you saying about the drive-in?” Yangyang casually joined in the conversation without addressing the matter that clearly needed to be addressed.
“Jimin, why didn’t you tell me about this? How long have you guys been going out?” you said smiling at your friends.
“Not that long, just a few days after you guys. See, I was going to tell you about it Y/n, but Yangyang thought it would be funnier if we just showed up one random day like this and let you guys figure it out on your own” Jimin said and Yangyang kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah, turns out that stupid quiz you girls thought of works wonders” Yangyang said and popped one french fry that he stole from the bowl.
“Wait, Yangyang, you were the one to send Jimin the quiz? Oh how the tables turn” you said and he waved you off.
You weren’t even the slightest bit surprised that Yangyang and Jimin were dating now. Honestly, it was quite obvious that there was something going on between them, but both of them were way too stubborn to admit it. Was it that way with you and Donghyuck too?
The four of you spent time at the diner that night. The feeling of being carefree and relaxed around your friends reminded you of the time you used to spend all together back in high school. It really felt as if you never lost touch with one another, everything was back to normal. Except this time, your heart felt at ease too.
It was getting quite late and the diner was almost empty now. The four of you didn’t really have the heart to check the time and make a move to get up and leave, you were having way too much time to just call it a night.
You had now ordered a second round of drinks, non-alcoholic though because none of you was really that good at staying sober. Instead, you just stuck with fizzy drinks and sodas.
Yangyang emptied out his second bottle of coke before he slammed it on the table. He licked his lips and sighed. “Wow, this was a good one” he said. But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind. You could tell by the smugness of his expression.
Yangyang smirked and then lifted his head to flash one of his signature wide grins. “I don’t wanna go home yet, guys. So, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?” he asked.
Jimin kicked his leg under the table, Donghyuck sat up and smacked him in the head and you stretched your arm to pinch his nose. The four of you burst out laughing, thinking about how things would have turned out if it wasn’t for Yangyang’s stupid ideas.
TAGS: @matchahyuck @peachjaem00 @hyuckieslove @bbyyhyuck @vdollys @positionslab @renjun-fairy @back2jisung @xxxx-23nct @jisungxident @smwhrinthehaze @tgnctzen131 @ridinhyuck @comfzo @daincty @aquamxrina @cas104 @annenakamura @jellymoonbear @nmyarhs @wakasays @hiraarri @myst-03 @meltinghershey @sundamariis @milkpier @kookiedesi @yipyipmorals @yvnjin-s @liliansun @peachyarpakka @06hee @cacaubs @emptynote @hyuckjensung @nanasfavenctzen @hearteyes4ji @the-midnight-arthouse @fairiejjk @idkbrohaha @n0hyuck
join my taglist here !!
#kflixnet#neowritingsnet#k-labels#haechan fluff#nct haechan#nct dream#haechan x reader#lee haechan#haechan#nct dream fluff#haechan angst#nct fanfic#haechan fanfic#nct scenarios#nct drabbles#nct fic#nct timestamps#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#lee donghyuck#lee donghyuk x reader#nct 127#nct 127 fluff
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Cool okay! May I request some general romantic head cannons for Bay! Optimus, Ironhide and Ratchet ? Thank you so much ! :)
(SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! My internet is fucked, but only on my computer, so i'm struggling atm.)
OF COURSE!! My favorites.... I mean I totally love them all equally :) I wrote them with a Human!Reader (that's all i write but i just wanted to calrify)!
Optimus Prime:
My love... probably the most normal of them honestly
Isn't like super duper outwardly romantic when others are around. He isn't too fond of PDA. BUT he still shows affection in lowkey ways.
Like, he will gently nudge you if you seem anxious or off in general, to get your attention and when you let him know you're ok he gives you a slight nod and continues on with his conversation.
It's really no secret, because him crouching down and his giant hand descending from his side and nudging you is not very subtle.
He is way more protective over you than any other human. Will not let anything harm you. And if something does, nothing will get in his way to help/save you.
LOVES (when it's just the two of you) for you to gently hold his face in your tiny (compared to him) hands! Double points if you gently bonk your forehead against his.
If you are not feeling it, having a bad day, what have you, he will take you for a ride to calm down. his voice is so soothing! Sometimes he'll even talk to you until you fall asleep if that is what you need.
You two became an 'item' mostly because you had made offhanded comment to Cade about Optimus being attractive in a way and Cade shut that shit down immediately but Optimus heard. It was too late, Cade has to deal with this now...
Literally so sweet! Will kill for you!
Ironhide:
Oh my... definitely the least normal (in an endearing way).
Doesn't mind/completely understand PDA honestly. Like, you wanna grab him and nuzzle his face? Please do. He will be forever grateful.
He definitely wants to show you off, he is so proud of you!! He also needs everyone to know you are taken :)
Like he will do little things to make sure the others know he is with you, like bringing you towards him when someone gets a little too close.
Wants you close to him at all times, so he knows you're safe.
If anyone threatens you in any capacity (even if its sarcasm from a close friend) his arm is around you, guarding you, while he points a gun at the one threatening you. It takes a minute to calm him down.
If you are like visibly upset/anxious/not having it, he is very vocal about pulling you out of the situation. Has zero problems taking you away in the middle of a conversation.
Will literally go into alt mode and just... drive away with you. Your friends don't like that too much.
Ironhide definitely was weird about his feelings at first. Him liking a human? No thank you. Definitely tried to push the feelings away, until getting tired and telling you how he felt.
When you lit up and said you felt the same? Oh he was over the moon!
Very protective and secretly very sweet! Will also kill for you!
Ratchet:
My sweet cinnamon bun....
Will literally die for your hugs!! Please just wrap your arms around his neck when he bends down and hug him so tight!
Doesn't mind PDA (in a sense of like hugging and being sweet) but does get very flustered!!
Call him any pet name (honey, dear, etc.) and he will combust. If he could blush, he definitely would. Really wanna make him weak in the knees? Call him 'My love.'
Ratchet would worry about you constantly honestly. Waaay more than anyone else.
I mean, you're just a human! You're squishy and small. There is a lot to worry about!
He realized he liked you because he was so worried for you, then he grew even more worried!
He accidently confessed his feelings for you when rambling about how worried he had been for you, and when you go wide eyed he is retracting everything and ready to run away.
When you reassure him and tell him you like him too? He is even more likely to combust.
Is always wanting to check in on you, and learns very quickly what upsets you and what soothes you. he is very attentive.
So fucking sweet and will die for you!!
#transformers bayverse#bayverse transformers#ironhide#optimus prime#transformers#ratchet#transformers headcanon#optimus prime x reader#ironhide x reader#ratchet x reader
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☆ THE POETS AT THE AIRPORT ☆
CHARLIE: trying WAY too hard to be everyone's airport crush. has to be dragged out of the liquor section of the duty free shop ("but the vodka is so CHEAP"). plays a game of "trying to sneak as many metal objects past the security check as possible". when he gets a pat down he keeps wiggling his eyebrows and saying some variant of "wow no you're wayy too old for me" to the security guy (who's probably considering quitting his job). is secretly terrified of flying but tries not to let it show (grips neil's hand so hard it hurts when they take off)
TODD: literally a ball of pure anxiety in the beginning of it. SO scared he overpacked, he's constantly talking about what if his suitcase is too heavy and he has to empty it out and everyone in the queue will be watching him and GOD HE HATES AIRPORTS. calms down a bit after the security check (totally panics about what if he accidentally put a gun down his pants or something and doesn't remember), and then just chills in the perfume area of the duty free shop, trying all the scents. buys loads of snacks because you never know if the place you're going to has the good ones. tries not to think about the possibility of the plane crashing. likes watching the clouds.
NEIL: A literal kid. Is the one who ACTUALLY overpacked, and runs around with his suitcase (he'd totally sit down on it and ride it around if that was socially acceptable). spends like an hour in the shops and is suddenly convinced he needs to buy a lot of unnecessary stuff. BUT goes into airport dad mode as soon as he needs to, he has all the tickets and keeps reminding everyone of having their passports ready, he knows the gate number etc. takes the lead and gets them to the plane safely.
KNOX: has like an hour long "in case i die on the plane" video ready for chris, and they have a long phone call to say good bye (interrupted when charlie gets into a fight with a security guard - "c'mon dude, who's side are you on, the government?? like being a small little guy in power??" "Sir I'm going to repeat it one more time, I need you to take off that belt please."). if knox wasn't dating chris, he'd totally be looking at all the cute girls at the airport for like two seconds and trying to telepathically tell them they're cute (relatable, not gonna lie). Is so polite and charming to all the staff that it's on the verge of being funny, Pittsie teasing him about really being the perfect son in law. Honestly just a very chilled flyer, he has fun.
PITTS: has even more fun. has like an extra bag full of snacks that everyone makes fun of and then obviously wants some of later (pittsie gives them some because he's a bro, but they have to swear that he's the best and will get the front seat of every car they'll ride). TOTALLY has one of those inflatable neck cushions. the security guy comments on how tall he is mainly to make conversation, but pittsie is still proud of it (i think i mentioned my headcanons about pitts' relationships with his height? or did i never publish them?) and smiles for the next minute. reads the on-flight magazine. super excited at take off, he's like LET'S GOOOO while todd and charlie are on the verge of crying. freaks out about omg I forgot my passport (neil took it from him one second ago). fun facts about planes!!
MEEKS: the chillest. tries to calm todd down by telling him statistics and all that about the narrow chances of dying on a plane until charlie snaps and is like SHUT UP OH MY GOD ("'kay sir" 🫡😳). nerds out about planes with pittsie! has WAY too many tags on his bags in case they get lost. tells really bad airport puns that pittsie thinks are HILARIOUS. spends the wait by just sitting in a café and drinking way too much coffee. ONLY buys one teeny tiny little bag of m&ms and then eats like half of pittsies snacks. sits more comfortably than pitts because his legs are shorter and don't get cramped and DEFINITELY teases him about it like 'hmm i don't know what you mean, there's plenty of leg room!"
CAMERON: really excited for the flight, loves the whole experience. printed out everything twice just in case!! all his liquid items are in these little plastic bags that no one ever uses (or maybe y'all are just better than me). eats SO much beforehand to save money because the airport prices are ridiculous. runs to the gate like three times to check it hasn't been changed. has the craziest methods to keep his ears from popping.
#dead poets society#dps fandom#dps#dead poets headcanons#dps headcanons#neil perry#todd anderson#knox overstreet#charlie dalton#gerard pitts#steven meeks#richard cameron
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Fem. Gojo showing you her domain
You were lying on your bed mindlessly watching videos until you heard a tap on your window. You went in front of it, readying your cursed technique in case it was an enemy. After what happened with toji you were not going to take any more chances. You were very relieved to see it was just your girlfriend. You opened the window and let her come in
"Oh, satori, what are you doing here?"
"What? Can't a girl visit her boyfriend once in a while?"
"I meant why were you outside my window?"
"Your dorm is on the second floor, and I just got back from a training session. No way I'm gonna do all those stairs"
"It's like two flights, and you thought floating was easier?"
"Hey I got my technique I'm gonna use it"
"Whatever, anyway so why did you wanna visit?"
"Oh yeah, I got something super cool to show you"
She smiled brightly and pointed at herself in a dramatic manner
"Guess who just perfected her domain expansion?"
"....For real?"
"For real real, it took training and a lot of mochis to power up but I finally did it"
"That's so cool, tori. domain expansions are the peak of jujutsu, I'm so proud of you"
"Well, of course I'd be able to do it sooner or later, I am the strongest after all but thanks for the praise"
"Don't mention it"
"Soooo are you ready to see it or what?"
"Won't it hurt me?"
"Nah, it's a non lethal domain.......kinda"
"....that's not really reassuring"
"Come on, don't you trust me? It's beautiful to look at, it's gonna be a nice date place"
"*sighs* fine but if I die my ghost will haunt you forever"
"Don't worry, I'll never let anything happen to you"
You were slightly taken aback by her serious tone, but she quickly went back to her silly self as she smiled again, put her hands together, and disappeared, you sighed and waited for a few seconds before she reappeared with an embarrassed expression on her face
"S-sorry, I forgot you can't-"
"It's fine let's just go"
You went outside (using the door this time), and in the courtyard, gojo stood near you and held your hand
"You gotta keep holding my hand. If you don't, then you might be in a coma for a couple of months k?"
".....what?"
"Don't worry, it'll be fine. You can hug me if you're really worried, I certainly wouldn't complain~"
"*sighs* just get on with it"
She smiled again and took off her shades, revealing the blue eyes you loved to stare at, put them in her pockets, and did her domain hand sign with her free hand.
"Domain expansion: infinite void"
Suddenly, black filled your vision as you got transported into her domain, an endless plane of black with white spots, satori's grip on you tightened as she looked back at you
"Soooo what do you think? Pretty nice to look at isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's beautiful, but I guess it was guaranteed that a beautiful girl like you would have a beautiful domain"
"Eh, such a charmer. You're gonna make me blush if you continue"
You sat down, and she did the same. Her hand made its way up your body until it reached your shoulder. She pulled you into a side hug and layed her head on your shoulder
"You know I love you right?"
"Yeah you tell me that every day"
"No, I mean like love, love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me"
"*giggle* really? The great satori gojo loves me this much? I'm honored"
"You should be, but seriously, after geto left, you're the only person I have left. Sure, I have shoko, but to be honest, I don't think she cares that much about me. Even if she did, she can't really understand me.....sometimes I feel so...lonely"
You silently side hugged her back as you saw her blue eyes become slightly lucid while looking around
"I guess it's fitting that my domain is a big empty void cause that's where I feel like I'm in sometimes........"
"Except when I'm with you of course"
You turned to see her smiling brightly and staring at you lovingly
"You're what keeps me going. You're someone that i know will never leave me. i love you so much"
"I love you too"
You two kissed passionately and looked at each other with pure love
"Alright, I think that was enough. If I keep my domain going for longer, I might get tired, I'll undo it now"
She did as she said and put her shades back on
"How about we go out to eat? It's almost dinnertime and there's a really good spot around here"
"Sure if we bring megumi and tsumiki too"
"Uh?..........dammit I forgot about them....do you think they'll be mad at me?"
"*sighs* you're such a mess of a mom, we can buy them some toys on the way home, maybe they'll forgive you then"
"Great idea, you're a life saver babe"
"It's nothing. Let's just go"
She dragged around as you brought the toys and food for your adopted children.
No matter what happened, you would stick by gojo's side, and she would, of course, do the same
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#x reader#female satoru gojo#female satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo#gojo#genderbent gojo x reader#female gojo x reader#fem gojo x reader#gojo x reader#fem gojo#female gojo#genderbent gojo#rule 63#genderbent#genderbend#x male reader#male reader
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does caro ever miss or mourn the person they could have been if they been happy with who they were as carrie? i'm an older trans person and have been post op and passing for over a decade now, but every now and then i can't help but feel sad for the version of myself i would have been if i'd been cis. i don't see a lot of stories with gnc characters touch on these feelings even though i think they're a normal part of the trans experience
WOAGH ok. I'm not going to clean up this sketch cuz i think its better you get the sloppy 'couldnt see through my tears replying to this ask' version. In many ways, yes. Its hard to put into words because its not a regret, but its a grief of who they tried to be for so long. It doesn't take away from the joy they have being the person they are now, but for them its like losing a loved one too young, if that makes sense.
i think many people have 'what ifs' and sadness for our baby selves. I write Caro loving Carrie very much, which is a super personal choice for me. I also show Carries story because I feel its really important to understand Caros. And because its really important to mine. I mourn baby me all the time, I was so incredibly lost. And I mourn the man I never became. He lives in John, because in many ways he still exists in me, even if my life took me in a different direction from him. I still love him. Hes still part of me even if my path didn't include him once i learned more about myself. But I'm also incredibly joyful and happy to be the person I am now, and I think teenage girl me, and phantom FtM me would be really proud of 40-something nonbinary living-my life-the-best-way-i-can me.
I think if Caro could meet Carrie in some kinda way, they'd say they were so sorry they couldn't be her, and that they really tried but they just didnt know how. But I think Carrie would tell them she's really happy she gets to be them, and how proud she is of how far theyve come together.
#ask box#sorry i got way too personal on main here but yea#trans journey#its different for everyone of course#Caro speaks for me and we all have dif experiences#i yearn to hug baby me and tell her its gonna end up ok#that its gonna be a weird and winding road but we're gonna make it ok and thank you so much for living so that i could live too#i love you i love you i love you
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it was suggested I post this to the tags as well >:D
fuck it ima tag @transcendence-au as well because tbh I'm very proud of my silly little animation
some me being a nerd under the cut!
okay so this all started when I read the original post this was inspired by and though 'wouldn't it be silly to add some art to this 3 year old post?' but then I decided to animate it for funsies!
and gosh I sure do love animating!
So I got the base sketch and then got into the lineart animation for each component!
i don't have the sketches/wips saved at all sense this wasn't really a project and it took less than a day to complete. but here's a peak at the timeline
I animate entirely in my ususal drawing software: clip studio paint. It's just what's easiest for me.
all of these layers outside that folder are just the sparkles! after I finished I added some sparkles for fun! there's a lot of them because it involved a lot of copy and pasting sparkle layers
the bottom folders here are the wings body and facial expression! for everything like the wings arms and flags I was able to just copy paste, reverse, and then align the timing correctly in the timeline
one thing unique about this animation is that the lineart and colors are in separate layers! I tend to do line and colors on the same layer but this time I was using a brush that doesn't have the same lack of anti-aliasing and sense it's a small animation I wasn't as worried about keeping a minimum of layers like usual.
also the movement of the body is only 4 frames! and one one of those is just the hat shifting position
initially I wasn't going to have the second facial expression but when I got stuck on animating the flags I added the second facial expression while taking a break.
the arm animation is just 8 frames! honestly the only tricky part in this is the flags, everything else was pretty simple, which made it super fun to work on because I got both a challenge and mindless therapeutic drawing out of it.
NOW THE FLAGS there was 3 throw away attempts before I got it: you see the thing that made this tricky is finding the balance between believability and visual appeal. a big part of animation is creating the illusion of physics, this is the 'believability' part, I need these to look like flags that are moving and made of flat fabric, HOWEVER if I animate these one-to-one with realistic physics: it won't look good! I can't apply wind to the whole drawing because then the hair would have to react, and wind goes one way, and I wan't the flags to be pointing opposite directions. so without wind the flags would be laying down flat, but that won't look good at all! and furthermore realistic physics would have the flag not being all nice and front facing most of the time. so the trick here was figuring out how much physics to apply to make it look believable, while still making it look good.
one trick I did to help me animate the flags is I actually made a plan rectangle flag as a guide so that the general mass/volume of the flag would stay consistent, this is something i highly recommend when animating! like having a circle guide along a characters head to keep their height and proportions consistent.
after I finally found the balance with the flag lineart coloring wasn't too hard! sense I just had to follow the lines, and THANK GOODNESS the trans and aroace flag have the same number of stripes: saving me time!
and then it all comes together to make a satisfying perfectly looping bundle of cuteness >:DDD I feel like the tau fandom doesn't have as many artists with particularly cartoony/chibi art styles so I've gotta play my part in spreading the joy-whimsy-adorable-sillys >:D
anyway! hope you get to see a cool beetle today :D
#kyukyudraws#animation#alcor the dreambender#tau#transcendence au#the transcendence au#gravity falls
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Happy To See Her
Paring: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Warning: none
Summary: just an overeager girlfriend reader happy to see Sam.
From a young age Sam has known that she wasn't really wanted. Her mother never liked her and when she found the diary that because way more obvious to her. The man Sam knew as her father just up and left her without saying a word, leaving her absolutely heart broken. The only one who really wanted her around was Tara, but she ruined that when she just left. Yes things are good now with them but she's still afraid that one day Tara's going to decide that she too doesn't want Sam and eventually will leave her too. Like some kind of sick Karmic justice.
Today has been exhausting for Sam. People were a lot more vocal with their hate toward her and it was starting to get to her. She was sad, and quite frankly hurt by the hateful words. She usually didn't let people's words get to her but this was hard to ignore when they're in your face everyday. Where ever you go you get hate and Sam was tired of it. She wanted peace and for people to leave her alone, but unfortunately she knew that because of her status as a junior Loomis that was never going to happen. She was stuck getting hate forever.
Walking inside the apartment she barely put her things down before she had two arms wrapped tightly around her in a loving hold. She didn't even have to look to know who it was.
"Sammy! I am so happy you're back!" You gushed excitedly as you looked at her. "How was your day baby?"
Sam couldn't help but smile at how happy you were to see her. It made her heart swell with absolute adoration and love because of the fact that you were genuinely happy to see her.
"Uh, things were good babe. Nothing particularly interesting happened today." She said softly.
You looked at her with a wide smile before dragging her to the couch and making her sit down before running off. You said nothing before running into the kitchen to grab what you had made for her. It wasn't much but you knew that Sam would appreciate it.
"A hot meal for the hottest girl I know!" You said as you handed her a plate of food. "Enjoy."
Sam had just finished eating after work but she definitely wasn't about to let this go to waste. Especially after you worked for hard to make dinner for her. It was sweet and the food looked amazing so that was a bonus.
"Oh my gosh! Baby this is amazing!"
You smiled at how honest she was. You weren't a cook, in fact you couldn't cook, but knowing that Sam enjoyed what you made had you smiling proudly at the fact that she likes your food.
"I'm glad you like it. It took some time but I think I pulled it off." You said proudly.
Sam pulled you in for a tight hug and kissed the top of your head. "You did amazing baby and I am so proud of you." She said softly. "So proud baby."
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Sam was sitting on the couch watching you do a puzzle that you had discovered. It looked pretty simple but you've been at it for an hour now and you seemed to be very entertained by it. She didn't really understand the hype about puzzles but she did enjoy watching you have fun.
"Baby how are you not bored yet?" Sam asked.
You giggled as you glanced at her. "Because it's so fun! I think I'm close to putting the whole puzzle together. I just need some time." You said. Sam said nothing and just sat back and watched as you continued with your puzzle.
With a sweet smile on her face Sam takes out her phone and records you. She didn't know why but she wanted to capture this moment. It wasn't anything super significant, but you look at peace with the world around you and to her that was reason enough to take a video of you.
"Sammy quick take a picture! Take a picture!" You shouted excitedly.
Sam chuckled but did what she was asked and took a picture. "Why did you want a picture?" She asked. "Because I want to remember this day forever! How I actually completed a puzzle I started and didn't forget about it halfway through." You told her. Sam nodded and decided to take another picture from a better angle.
Carefully placing the puzzle on the table you smiled again as you took another picture. You knew you had enough but you were just so excited that you actually finished that you had to take another one just for the memories.
"Sam! Y/n! We need your help." Tara yelled as she walks in.
"Yes please tell Tara here that the Babadook is a bad movie." Mindy says.
While you were confused Sam knew exactly what was going on. "I just don't get how you can hate something that you haven't even finished watching," she laughs. "You put it on once, turned it off halfway and never watched it again." She said. Mindy nodded at that. "Yeah because I didn't like it." She said in an obvious tone. "I thought you knew that," she added. Tara rolled her and turned to look at you. "So what do you think Y/N? Is the Babadook a bad movie like Mindy says?" She asks.
"Oh I've never seen it." You said easily.
Both girls looked at you like you just kicked a puppy. "What?" They asked. "You've never seen it?" You shook your head. "Nope. Never. I'm not a fan of those movies." You said. Mindy was confused when you said that. "What do you mean?"
You shrugged "scary movies. I'm not into them after my cousin made me watch Friday The 13th when I was twelve and it gave me nightmares for two months." You said. "So I don't watch them."
Tara knotted her eyebrows together as she looks at you with confusion written all over her face. "But you know the Stab franchise," she points out. "So you obviously know horror movies." She argued. You nodded in agreement with that. "Yes I know Stab, but I have never seen Stab." You tell her. "Just because I have heard of something or something is popular enough to talk about doesn't mean that I've seen them," you explained.
"If not horror then what do you like?" Mindy asked.
"Musicals!" You and Sam said at the same time, which made you both giggle.
While Mindy was fake gagging at the cuteness, Tara was looking at her sister. "How did you know that?" She asked. Sam shrugged with a smile on her face. "It's pretty easy to decipher. She practically explodes when a new music is announced." She said. Both Tara and Mindy nodded before turning to you.
"So what is your favorite musical then?" Tara asked.
You smiled "In The Heights." You said easily. "The music and cinematography is amazing! Also Vanessa is the best character with the best voice," you gushed excited. Mindy laughed at that. "Yeah we already knew that. I mean she looks like Sam so of course she's your favorite." She teased, which made you blush.
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Today was a long day for Sam and she was only halfway through her shift at the new coffee shop. She felt like she couldn't catch a break today and it was frustrating. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong and she was angry. People were more rude today and several coworkers of hers unfortunately found out about her father and were using the new information to antagonize her. Today was a bad day and she really couldn't wait to go home.
Taking her break Sam sat alone with her eyes closed as she tries to calm herself down. She was still talking to her therapist and they have been working on ways for her to relax when she's feeling stressed or angry. So far it's working.
After her break things smoothed out for Sam. She felt more relaxed and working was less stressful for her. She still couldn't wait to go home, but for now things were good. She just hopes that they stay that way.
You stood in the kitchen with your phone opened as you repeatedly looked over the recipe you wanted to make. It was a pasta dish and it seems simple enough to make but you still wanted to make sure that you had everything correct that you needed. Cooking was never your strong suit but you tried. However, today was special and you needed everything to go well today. It just had to go well.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Mindy asked.
"Yeah that doesn't seem right." Chad said softly.
You sighed and bowed your head. "Honestly? I'm not even sure anymore." You whispered. Tara gave both Mindy and Chad a look before turning to you. "Y/N, everything is going to be ok. You have the ingredients and I am sure we can find a tutorial on this." She said. Your eyes snapped opened and you quickly grabbed your phone and typed in the recipe. "I think I have an idea."
With things finally coming together you felt way more relaxed and could finally go get ready. Tonight was special and you wanted everything to go perfectly and be perfect. All of this was for Sam and you really hope she likes it.
Walking inside the apartment it was pretty dark. The only thing giving Sam any light was the two candles on either end of the table. They sat by two plates that was loaded with pasta and a nice salad. It was really cute!
"Sammy! You're home!"
Two arms were wrapped tightly around Sam's body and her face was quickly littered in kisses from her very happy girlfriend. "Hi, baby. Did you do all of this?" She asked. You nodded as you pulled back but never let go. "Yes! I wanted to do something nice for our date night." You tell her.
Sam's eyes lit up when she heard that and without saying anything she kissed you. It was a very needy kiss that was filled with all the love and passion she could muster. She didn't know why but she just felt like she had to show you just how much she loves you. She really loves you.
Pulling away Sam rests her forehead against yours and smiled at you. "This is amazing baby! Thank you." She said softly. You smiled proudly. "You're welcome honey!"
The date was filled with laughter and love as you both shared stories about your day. Sam compliment your food and told you how beautiful you looked, which made you blush as you shyly thanked her. It was a nice night that was crashed by Tara, Chad and Mindy because they wanted you and Sam to watch some new horror movie that was out. Sam was ready to defend you and say no but you decided that you wanted to watch. So you guys did.
You hated the movie but having Sam right next to you, whispering how after you guys would watch that musical you liked made everything better. You and Sam both shared a look that told you each how lucky the other was to have each other. You both knew that the bond you shared was real and the love you had would never go away because you both were head over heels for one another.
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Commission for @fizziepop! Rambling under the readmore!
The concept for this one was that Y/N has, some-way, somehow... perished. The boys have lost them. And so here they are - torn apart yet brought together, in rage and fear and grief.
But, if you wanna be silly with it - maybe it's just that they tripped and fell down and the boys are acting like its the END OF THE WORLD. Might work with gala again later and do a follow up on this with y/n in the family guy death pose haha! (might even do it on my own if it strikes me!)
This piece took me. MONTHS. And it was a challenge, and I VERY much struggled at times. But Gala has been WONDERFUL through the whole thing, and honestly I had a BLAST working on this piece. (Also Gala idk if I ever mentioned - you gave me WONDERFUL refs and had super vivid ideas, it was awesome.) I learned a lot of fun new techniques, and improved a LOT while working on this! Finished it up last night on stream, and I'm super proud of it! Gala, I hope you love it just as much as I do!!! <3
In particular I am the most fond of the bio-lights on Eclipse, and the shading on moon. Though I do like the patterns for the lights on sun, I think the glow on Eclipse looks just a taaaaad cooler. I ALSO got SUPER carried away with the clouds in the bg - it was meant to me "simple" oopsie. But! It was fun and dang??? I really like how they turned out! (thank you, gouache brush my beloved <3)
#fnaf sb#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf eclipse#mer au#fnaf au#mermay#no its not mermay but IDK ANYMORE#its almost OCTOBER#*yeets the fish at u*#funky little jester boys#my art#comm#sinna comms#gala comm#stream art#fuck yeah yall i FINISHED IT!!#YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!
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I've shared these on my Instagram, but I also wanna share them here b/c I'm pretty proud of my plushies and I spent a lot of time on them at the end of last year! More pictures of the details n words below the cut!!!
Okay last one promise! This was for a friend, but also a good test of Cholyknight's chibi doll patterns for myself! (That one costs money but it's well worth it!!!) The embroidery for the face came out really good!!! I think the ears were initially bigger than I intended and I was at a point where I couldn't undo them, but it worked out really well in the end! A lot of the base clothes and hair all came with the patterns, but I adjusted the mohawk to fit his face better, using a darker grey to show it was shaved, and I tried to detail his shoes a little more to look like sneakers. The horns I took an existing horn pattern and adjusted it to be Mallek's, though the piercings I struggled for a time before settling on stitched pieces of fabric. The piercings above the eye on the brow are hand down embroidery, which works well enough!
I'm actually super proud of the hoodie; the symbol is embroidered!!!! I made it into an embroidery design and did that myself!!!! With like, a free to use program but STILL!!! And then the hood can go on his head bc there's holes for horns!!! Actually incredibly tricky for a first attempt of that hood, but I got it!!! Also all the clothes? Easy to slip on and off! Though maybe I should've sewn the shoes in bc they fall a little too easy… but my friend really likes it so that's what counts ❤
Also it's also completely made of fleece! Minus the lining in the hood of course; since it's fleece though, there's no shirt under the hoodie bc it wouldn't fit right, but I sewed in a little bit of blue to give the illusion of a shirt xD
#sewing project#cholyknight#mallek adalov#hiveswap mallek#hiveswap#mallek plushie#cholyknight pattern#I actually am so proud of this#he's the same height as the alicorn!#so he's lovely to cuddle#I hugged him plenty of times!#and the face is absolutely perfect#I took a bit of a gamble of giving yellow scelera n white shine instead of leaving it blank#but it really works#also he's not standing on his own LOL#I made him as a christmas present so he's standing against the tree xD#theartisticapparition
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Character Analysis: Rio Vidal
(because Aubrey Plaza currently has a chokehold on my psyche)
It hasn't been confirmed on the show, but we all know that Rio is Death, correct? They're not even being subtle about it, so I'm gonna take it from that angle.
Okay, so Rio is ageless. She prefers to take the form of Aubrey Plaza because Aubrey is a hot motherfucker. Agreed? Okay.
I have no idea when she would have come into existence, only because I have no idea the nature of Death in this universe. Is she one of many deaths? She must be, because people die all over and she has enough free time to build this hate/love relationship with Agatha, whom she finds the second the Darkhold stops hiding her.
I think she may specifically be Death for witches. She ferries magical humans to the other side, and has done since magic was first invented.
She was never a child, never a newborn. She was fully grown and cognizant from her inception, born knowing what her job was for her entire life. She existed in ancient times, seen by many mortals as different gods/goddesses. She took the shapes they'd already imagined her to have. She was Anubis, Hades, Shinigami, Osiris, Hecate, Charon...whom were all different entities, but she took their forms to bring comfort to the recently departed.
I feel like Rio had a lot of empathy for the first thousand or so years of doing this job. She listened to life stories as she ferried magical beings to their next journeys. She learned about society, about expectations, about why one might choose not to stay on the mortal coil, or why one might be taken from it by force.
She comforted the ones reticent to leave their physical bodies. She held the hands of too many young witches, taken too soon because of the fear that surrounded them. That's who she had the most empathy for: young, misunderstood witches.
Her empathy fades as humanity progresses. Witches are still persecuted, but many of them get on her nerves. They think so highly of themselves. They think they Death owes them something, that they deserve a second chance at life.
Nobody gets a second chance at life.
And while it's her job, she starts to kind of resent it. The spirits that won't leave piss her off. They disturb the living as often as they can and Rio gets blamed for it. This is why she hates ghosts.
But there's nothing she can do.
And then she meets Agatha. Agatha who is young and powerful and so scared when they first meet. Agatha, who has just caused the deaths of her entire coven. Agatha, who didn't mean to cause so much destruction; she just needs to be properly taught.
So Rio teaches her. I think they would have this kind of relationship where Rio fosters Agatha's talents, where she takes Agatha to places where she can be as destructive with her magic as she wants and nobody will judge or demonize her. And every time Agatha masters a spell or gives Rio that super proud smile, Rio falls a little more in love with her.
She revitalizes Rio's love for her job. And it's not like it's Agatha's fault that other witches keep attacking her. And it's not like she can truly control that siphoning thing every time it happens. It just is what it is.
Agatha feels bad the first time it happens, too. But then she takes on Rio's logic of "well, they shouldn't have done that then," and all is well.
Agatha is alive and safe and Rio gets more bodies to ferry, more work. She actually really loves her work, especially because it means she gets to spend more time with Agatha, who just can't stop getting attacked for some reason...
There are rules to her job, of course.
First and most important rule: Death cannot kill. It is a conflict of interest. It wouldn't be very fair to give herself more bodies to ferry. Soon enough, there would be none left. In theory, at least. It's like insider trading, in a way.
Another one: Death cannot bring back life to one who has died. That is also not fair, and it's actually not even something she can do. She isn't Life; she's Death.
And: Death must ferry souls as soon as possible to the other life. Souls that linger too long become ghosts and it gets harder for them to cross over. It's considered a failure on her part when a Spirit becomes a Ghost.
She regrets ferrying Nicholas. That was her son, too. I will entertain no other theories. She loved that kid. She was just as much his mother as Agatha was. She knew how much it would hurt Agatha, but she also knew that she couldn't allow Nicky to become a ghost. It would be a torturous existence for them both. And if Agatha had her way and reanimated his body, forcing his soul to remain there, it would be so much worse.
It is her biggest regret and the only scar she has.
She doesn't have to lick wounds to heal them. That's just something she does for Agatha. Agatha either doesn't know this or doesn't fight it. I cannot even decide which one is funnier.
Rio is more than her job, though.
She is also a bottom.
Only for Agatha.
Moving on.
When Agatha uses the Darkhold to disappear, whatever beacon spell they'd had on each other since practically the beginning of their courtship is interrupted. She cannot find Agatha. She cannot even see Agatha, not even if she was two inches from her own face. Agatha makes it so they never run into each other, no matter whom she kills.
And then Wanda gets the Darkhold and it's like a fire alarm blaring in Rio's ear. She goes immediately to Agatha's side.
Yes, immediately. You know that was not a three-season delusion that Wanda put her under. "Agnes" had many, many different TV shows running through the spellbound mind. She just wasn't broken out of it until Teen got there.
Herb was so nonchalant about her little "true crime bug" that there had to have been several different medical series, soap operas, firefighter shows, other cop shows, comedies, home improvement shows, reality shows (The Real Housewives of West View?), and a mockumentary or two that came before it.
And Rio was a guest star in all of them, willing Agatha to just wake up. But Agatha didn't recognize her. She just knew that she hated her, in every single mind show. She just hated Rio Vidal.
And Rio was just in a hell of her own making, trying desperately to break Agatha out but not knowing how.
She loves this woman so much. All the threats to kill her and telling others where to find her? Foreplay. I can totally see them trolling each other as they ran around New England, pointing fingers at one another, calling out "Witch!" and snickering as the torches are lit.
Their sex breaks down houses. They have done it in a grave. Rio attempts to murder Agatha at least twice a day at their peak; it's called flirting, Jennifer.
Agatha, obviously knowing that Rio can't actually kill her (and she cannot kill Rio for obvious reasons), feels safest when she's around. Because Rio defends her. She knows the things that Agatha has done and she loves her (not in spite of them, but sort of because of them. Girl's a freak.) anyway.
And Rio hates her mother-in-law, Evanora, with a passion. She definitely has a list of people she hates from all the souls she's had to ferry. A lot of white Puritan men are on that list for their role in the Salem Witch trials. But Evanora is #1 on that list. It's on sight for that bitch.
And I think that makes Agatha soft for Rio. Because nobody has ever defended her against her mother, for her whole childhood. Nobody except Rio.
Which is why Agatha is definitely the one who proposed.
It was a mundane kind of day. Her powers had just killed another coven. Before they attacked, however, one of the witches called Agatha a "Witch-Killer" and said that her mother had always been right about her. She'd heard of how evil Agatha was as a child and this just proved it.
Rio's hands had glowed green and as she took the woman by the throat, slamming her against a tree, screaming at her, telling her about how the true evil was the woman who hated her own child so much as to plan a whole execution after abusing her for her entire childhood. How Agatha was a survivor and so much more powerful than her mother could ever hope to be. And that witches like her had to wake up to it and--then the witch blasted Agatha and it was all over.
Rio huffed as she dropped the empty husk of a body, glaring at the spirit as it floated above it.
"That was your own fault," she said. "If you had just listened to me, none of this would have happened."
The witch just glared and Rio rolled her eyes, collecting the souls of the other witches who had attacked Agatha along with this dumb with.
"I'll be right back," she promised Agatha, who was still thrumming with magic.
"Marry me!" Agatha said as Rio disappeared.
She was halfway through with the job when the words registered in her mind. She got them across in record time, returning to find Agatha on her knees, waiting for her, a purple ring of something she'd made from magic. She was smiling up at Rio, tears in her eyes.
"What did you say?" Rio asked, her heart pounding.
"Marry me," Agatha repeated, her voice tight. "Rio Vidal, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" Rio dropped to her knees and tackled Agatha to the ground, raining kisses down on her while Agatha laughed.
And then they got married and lived happily for a century or two, until they had a son. I have no idea how Nicholas came to be. I have no idea why he is a Scratch rather than a Harkness or a Vidal. But I know he had two mommies who loved him more than anything. Rio probably never thought that she could be a wife to anybody, let alone a full mother, but she loved that boy. And she loves Agatha.
Rio has a big heart and she's a bit intense, but we love that for her.
11/10 character
#agatha all along#character analysis#rio vidal#agatha harkness#nicholas scratch#I love me so rio vidal#best character
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